I don't envy @CobaltVelvet's attempt to moderate their instance. Like, I recognise how important it is, and getting user buy-in is actually one of the best way to do it.

But wrangling Internet randos — and I count myself as one of them — into buying in to your policy and then dealing with the administrative work of ensuring that the policies are followed... is grueling, thankless work.

Hence that decision of wanting an instance for friends only. I'm guessing calling out friends will be easier.