@starbreaker

in fact, a nice advantage of being a generally shy and quiet person is that usually people come to me with such proposals

so... I honestly have no idea how there is no other explanation for incels other than projecting a personality that is really caustic and unwanted.

and if you project such negativity, of course people will not want to befriend you or more

@starbreaker

like literally you don't even have to have game to get a date. if you are truly a nice, gentle person, they will generally come to you. cuteness isn't just physical, it's also body language and how you project your personality. confidence doesn't require going on a hunt for a date.

@starbreaker

overall I would suggest that these people work on looking "huggable."

then the pressure is not on them.

but giving the appearance of possible intrigue and vulnerability is somehow damaging to masculinity

I say grow your hair out, look like frodo, hide your eyes with your hair so people can't read you.

that will get you the partner you really want, anyway. the one who will spend the time to figure you out.

@starbreaker

definitely don't mold yourself to fit some predefined notion of hypermasculinity.

that way only leads to despair.

stay true to yourself and eventually somebody you like will come along. just don't screw it up when they do and you're all good from there...

sheesh, fucking incels man

@starbreaker

(and trust me, if you're wanting to go start a family, you want to get with the person who will spend the time to figure you out. not doing so leads to divorce and other family court visits.)

@starbreaker

I think, also, that part of the problem is that makes are pressured to always make the first move. Even things like Prom, for example.

Having social functions where the women are supposed to ask out their date might help to neutralize that social pressure.

@kaniini
@starbreaker
I'd like to think I'm a pretty good looking guy, tall, fairly lean (you can see me in my profile pic), I'm an engineer but I still have decent-good social skills, but that hasn't been my experience at all. Maybe my height is intimidating, and it probably doesn't help that I'm on a campus with mainly other guys (I'm straight) but I've never had anyone come to me (unless I've been too oblivious to notice, which wouldn't surprise me). The few dates I've been on have been me asking

Don't get me wrong, those incel people are extremely toxic, both as people and the views they hold, I'm just saying that at least as a straight guy you need at least a little game to make progress because relationships are very unlikely to just pop up out of nowhere

@jerry @starbreaker

you don't need game, you just need to stand out.

interesting people are attracted to interesting things. make yourself interesting and you get attention.