My therapist says healthy adults ask for what they want.
I want my children to learn this skill, and not to think it prevents colds, so I say:
Emotionally-healthy people ask for what they want.
Just mention what you want. You might not get a pony, but at least it's known that you actually want a pony. Otherwise it's random at best that you get what you really want.
This is sometimes phrased as "Use your words" but is one of the times when I don't subscribe to my mantra of SHORTEN.
The corollary to "emotionally-healthy people ask for what they want" is that any expectation of mind reading is unhealthy.
I should not expect you to read my mind. I should "use my words" and "ask for what I want."
Likewise, I should not be expected to read your mind. That's a sign of danger in a relationship.
That's another reason why it's so important to express what you want.
