On emotional authenticity and masking as an #ActuallyAutistic person
http://cassolotl.tumblr.com/post/160117558965 by @cassolotl
Based on this thread: https://cybre.space/users/cassolotl/updates/29348
@fallerOfFalls @cassolotl i genuinely hope you can cut the people out of your life who arent worth the extra effort. i think friends should be understanding of something this fundamental about yourself and you shouldnt have to do damage control because people cant deal with you being autistic
sincerely,
an #actuallyautistic #trans #punk
💪🤓
@PunkFairyAlex @fallerOfFalls Not everyone who is upset by my immediate reactions to things is someone I want to cut out of my life! Honestly, I feel pretty weird that you assumed that my relationships with people who aren't 100% accepting of my weirdness all the time are automatically unhealthy and need to be cut out of my life.
@fallerOfFalls @PunkFairyAlex Yup, definitely uncomfortable with a stranger "hoping" that I will cut loved ones out of my life. Nope nope.
@PunkFairyAlex @fallerOfFalls WAIT WAIT. "who aren't worth the extra effort"! I totally missed that in my immediate emotional reaction. :D My apologies!
So, thank you. And sorry for the initial weirdly hostile reaction. And yes, I am definitely well on the way to surrounding myself with people who are awesome enough to warrant that extra effort. <3
misunderstandings happen, and even if it was a misunderstanding i really appreciate you saying that you had a problem with something i said to you.
i live with an autistic abuse survivor and someone with bpd and i love them both dearly; they're my (chosen) *family*. there are absolutely people worth the extra effort, and i'm happy that you have people like that in your life and you're surrounding yourself with more.
@fallerOfFalls @cassolotl
NTs: You're overthinking things. Just be yourself!
Me: <relaxes a bit>
NTs: Why did you do *that*?
(...which is my way of saying what NTs might phrase as "I enjoyed that essay".)
@woozle @fallerOfFalls This is a very good representation of many moments in my life!
@cassolotl @fallerOfFalls Somehow, I thought you might relate. ;-)
I'm thinking further such mini-dialogues might be therapeutic and a good idea. Otherwise the experiences upon which they are based are allowed to pass without comment, and tend to become internalized. :-/
Me: I wish I had more people to engage in meaningful dialogue.
NTs: You need to get out more! Have some fun!
Me: <goes to party> <can't find anyone to talk to> <has breakdown from overstimulation>
@woozle Re: making mini-dialogues, that sounds like a great idea. It's basically what my webcomic is for. :P I have gotten really really good at drawing stick people for this very purpose!
@cassolotl You remind me a bit of drazahoib (aka Kimball Anderson) -- I freehost their comic (though lately they do all the web stuff; I just keep the daemons happy): http://outside-life.com/c/
@woozle Interesting. I should rummage around on that site. Thanks!
@fallerOfFalls Thanks! :)