So uh
How do you get a #job that's not minimum wage retail when that's the only experience you have and you graduated too long ago for your degree to mean shit?
@doodler If you take unsolicited internet person advice, it may turn out that you now have all sorts of useful skills now. Dealing with customers, up-selling, thinking on your feet, and you are trusted with cash money besides. These are all quite transferable.You also have a great interview hook, you are trying to better yourself and improve your position in life. http://www.talentthinktank.com/whats-your-hook-jan2016/ among others, and maybe talk to a local career counselor who can give a professional viewpoint.
@doodler Ugh, yes. Hiring requirements are often hallucinatory. It's an uphill climb, still worth doing. Best wishes out there.