personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

2 eps left, you guys

btw if anyone knows what hotel conference room this was filmed in, i would love to know

personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

so this guy makes a long winded speech but it's just bad guy boilerplate mostly

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

archer is upset because attacking the bad guy could mean killing some colonists too which i agree is a serious matter

but hey, remember the time that archer and phlox decided to condemn millions of people to death because Evolution is Destiny or some stupid shit?

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

so the xenophobe terrorists made the vulcan human hybrid baby using dna they got from an operative on enterprise

aren't there a bunch of humans and vulcans on earth? wouldn't that dna have been easier to get? why does everything have to be so convoluted?

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

we're still doing this section 31 shit too

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

shut the everloving fuck up about the xindi

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

so the terrorists think the baby they made is a threat to humanity
so don't make hybrid babies then? like they chose to make it, it only exists because they made it? like if it makes you mad then don't do it

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

so this lady works for starfleet intelligence, and reed works for s31 and someone else on board is working for the terrorists

got all that? i;m sure it will all come together intricately to culminate in a satisfying payoff

haha no of course it won't

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

omg this is the most boring shit

so tucker gets into a punch fight with some guy who doesn't matter, archer and the gang fly to mars in a shuttle or something and now terrorist guy is making another speech

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

T'Pucker. the kid's name is T'Pucker.
T'Pucker J Enterprise

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

archer and the gang are still on their shuttle journey and now tucker is fucking around with some equipment or something

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

they hold the camera on this carl sagan plaque for a really long time then zoom out to show the rover

someone is supposed to care about this i guess. this someone is not me

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

the terrorist guy has had alien gene therapy for some medical condition and i guess we're supposed to care

goddamn this is a draggy episode. this did not need to be a two parter

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

so archer and the gang after a way too long trip to mars just kind of stroll into the complex and immediately stumble into tucker

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

terrorist guy is making another speech. all of these speeches are the same speech and they are dull as fuck

this did NOT need to be a two parter

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

terrorist guy fires his weapon at san francisco but it hits the ocean instead

and now T'Pucker is dying

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

they name the baby elizabeth but she will always be T'Pucker to me

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

this guy turned out to be working for the terrorists

i'm sure if i knew who he was i would really being feeling the betrayal of this moment

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

oh no wait. i guess the real traitor was this guy

i don't know who he is

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

baby t'pucker is dying and phlox is really upset

hey, remember when phlox created a baby in his lab so he could raise it and murder it and harvest its brain?

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

politician guy made a speech and now archer is making a speech

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

i don't think this speech ever actually ends

it also sounds like it was written by a high school kid, it's just generic and dull as fuck

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

then this vulcan stands up and claps like it was the most amazing shit he's ever heard and okay, that is pretty funny

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

apparently everyone was super moved by archer's amazing speech

like this is kind of thing that maybe patrick stewart could pull off but not bakula, not bakula if his life depended on it

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

baby t'pucker actually died btw

hey remember the time they abandoned all those alien babies to die cause they were all different and stuff?

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

the actor playing tucker is actually okay. i sure wish they hadn't written the character as such a dick for the first three seasons

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personal log supplemental, i near the end of my enterprise journey but i am determined to go out in a blaze of complaining 

oh and then that scene sort of just peters out

the end

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

We made it. The last ep of enterprise. And travis gets dialogue right out of the gate

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

wtf happened to t'pol's hair?

also zephram cochrane is not an interesting character, stop bringing him up like he is

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

yay! :blobcheerbounce: Riker is here to reassure us all that none of this awful shit ever happened and starfleet never had a captain or crew doing all the horrific shit we've seen on this show

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

oh god i've never been so happy to see the real enterprise. don't make me go back

also why is this titled 'these are the voyages' instead of 'it's been a long road?'

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

oh gosh this is a very cgi enterprise though

it does not look as good as the model they used on tng

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

can we just stay in ten forward and not go back in the holodeck? please?

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

ahahahaha troi suggests riker skip ahead in the program to "when the andorian shows up"

even troi knows the only watchable parts of ENT are the jeffrey combs scenes

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

okay so apparently there has been a time skip from the last ep we saw to when this is happening

i guess t'pol's hair was meant to indicate that

also jeffrey combs :blobheartcat:

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

haha archer finishes his convo with shran and then riker fast forwards to the next shran scene

best. enterprise. ep. EVER.

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

shran's daughter has been kidnapped and he needs archer and the gang to help get her back and JESUS CHRIST WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THE FUCKING XINDI?!

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

if you say so, riker

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

i thought vulcans had a weird thing about touching food with their hands

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

watching riker and troi goof around on the nx-01 is more enjoyable than watching the crew of the nx-01 do anything

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

oh that's right. tucker dies too. this is the best episode ever! :blobheartcat:

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

archer is not cute. he looks like if someone turned Alf into a human

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

god i love the cheap ass props on this show. so the thing they trade shran's kid for is this cheap glass paperweight that looks like a jewel. my aunt had one

they're 12 bucks on amazon amazon.com/Original-Crystal-Di

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

then there's a shoot out that just goes on and on and on

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

troi talks to data and we hear but don't see our favorite pudgy, aging android

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

so this is supposed to be taking place during the ep of tng where they find the pegasus, riker's old ship with the illegal cloaking device

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

so the aliens they had the shoot out with show up looking for shran and tucker leads them into a room and then blows the room up with him and them in it

this is meant to be a noble sacrifice or something but its just dumb. the aliens are just some random fucks and tucker goes from zero to suicide plan like instantly

we've seen then get out situations like this a million times in more clever ways

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

i mean, yay he's dead but his was dumb

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

photo holder kinda looks like a froggy

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

then we go back to show tucker talking to riker. i'm not sure what the point of this being out of sequence is. it's a boring conversation anyway

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

okay are those supposed to be crowds or a mural of crowds painted on the wall?

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

it gets worse

look at that totally real crowd in the background

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

there's only five minutes left

so far the plot has been, shran shows up and the crew helps rescue his kid, the aliens chase after him and tucker immediately decides to kill himself, the crew attend a ceremony

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

that's a lot of dignitaries. it's all so exciting 😴

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

they should have done the phlox cgi smile during the mirror universe eps

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

then we get a montage of cgi version of enterprise with the different captains doing the into monologue

the end

i can see why this pissed people off it's pretty bad

but we're done with enterprise and it turned out none of it ever even happened 🎉 🎈 :rainbowdance: :blobrainbow: :blobcheerbounce: :rondoudou: :hamsterdance: 👍 :blobheartcat:

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re: personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret "perhaps Archer wasn't as fussy as Captain Pickard," if by "fussy" you mean "moral" or "competent" or "charismatic" or "not an asshole"

re: personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret yeeeee 🍿

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret Well, it's not her fault, you know how Betazoid women get in middle-age.

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret Actually, I have no idea how old Troi and Riker are supposed to be here.

They're wearing standard Next Gen uniforms, but the actors are obviously older than they were back then.

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@apLundell it's obviously the enterprise D too so i guess we're just not supposed to notice their age

re: personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret hey I can empathize here, like Riker I'm also not good at first-person shooter games

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret Oh, that answers that, then.

I completely forgot they specified when this was supposed to be.

I guess the Pegasus's cloak also causes people to look older.

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret

Oh wait, I remember that now. I think I blocked it out because it was stupid.

It makes it an even more insulting finale for Enterprise, though.

"We're going to make your finale a sort of footnote to an existing episode of an entirely different series."

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret I'd never seen Enterprise after the first two episodes, but I had heard that this is how it ends.

So this is really how they finished the show? WTF?

re: personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret so what you're saying is the grand finale absolutely lives up to the legacy of the rest of this god damn show

re: personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret yeah, it does. is this T'pol's moment of looking at a picture of Tucker and having Emotions about it? because why the fuck would she be looking at a picture of Tucker where YOU CAN'T TELL WHO IS IN THE PICTURE. also the froggy frame makes it extra hilarious

re: personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret look, Riker *really likes* watching other people handle food and he's found a venue that lets him... satisfy this interest without causing discipline problems on his ship, we should be supportive of his... favorite pastime

re: personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret "seats" um it looks like nobody else gets "seats," the rest of the (arguable) "people" in that crowd are obviously standing, so shut the fuck up and appreciate that you get to SIT DOWN

re: personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret gosh, I think actually being able to *see* those dignitaries would be too much excitement and the entire audience would be dead of all the excitement and anticipation so obviously the solution is to just *tell* us that there's a bunch of "dignitaries," and wasn't the hotel bruncheon supposed to be a bunch of "dignitaries" anyway? what's so exciting about this one? is it just that there's more, so they had to rent a bigger meeting hall?

re: personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret holy hell that is creepy what the fuck

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret When he says "you've always had an ample supply"

does he mean a supply of "optimism"?

I don't remember, but I assume so. See, it's book-ending the series with a creepy denobulan smile. It's literary.

re: personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret yaaaaay I can go to bed now! /falls over

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret They should have zoomed out one more time and it's actually Spock and Kirk watching TNG as a scifi movie.

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret "Let's not even end on our ship. What if we ended on a cooler ship?"

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@apLundell i mean yeah
is there anyone who doesn't prefer tng to enterprise?
i mean, come on

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret So, now that you're done, what're you going to do now?

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@apLundell i might do some TOS but i will probably just pick out random eps. i'm not gonna go through the whole thing like this
plus there's lots of other terrible shows out there

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@apLundell i kind of can't get over how much they bungled tucker's death

i thought the producers liked that character and they really screwed that up

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret I still think you should do Andromeda next.

It's like post-apocalypse Star Trek, except they don't have the Star Trek license.

Also the captain is insufferably smug at all times.

You like insufferable smugness, right?

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personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret I'm almost sad you're done. This is far and away the most entertained I have ever been by Enterprise.

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@EleventhOcean that is a low bar but I thank you :blobcat:

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret

Congrats on finishing this trash Steph! :blobcatreach:

I'm sure the next thing you do threads on will also be fun but idk if there's anything out there that has the same juxtaposition of being near and dear to my heart while also being complete garbage haha.

-sent from my cranial implant

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret

'CAUSE I'VE GOT FAITH, OF THE HEART
AND NO ONE'S GONNA BEND OR BREAK ME

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret Wow what a journey. Thanks for writing these, I really got a kick out of them.

Would you consider archiving your Enterprise recaps on a website or something for future reference/easy linking?

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@nindokag sure. If there's an easy way to do it (I am lazy)

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret I like how T'Pol is wearing a jumpsuit that is supposed to indicate that she's a civilian, but she's got the Enterprise mission patch on it.

Like she made her own uniforms.

I GUESS that's a logical thing to do, but it seems weird.

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret If those are really T'Pol's civilian clothes that she picked up in San Francisco, then she must have been in her quarters one evening with a stack of jumpsuits in different colors and then just sat there sewing patches on them.

Again, I GUESS that's a logical thing to do, just seems odd to imagine her going through the trouble.

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret this looks like a crowd in an n64 wrestling game

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret I’m pretty sure this is one of the award cutscenes from the TIE Fighter game from the mid 90s

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret I like the asset tags they stick on everything in this show. Even those food cans have a variation.

They even had one on the agonizer.

They're the foil kind from the 70s, so they're already old-timey.

Not joking. I think it's a cool subtle way to make the sets look old while still futuristic.

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret

Yeah it was completely pointless. They rushed through the death scene so it seems like Tucker's first idea was a suicide plan.

Makes you wonder how he made it this long without sticking his hand in the warp core.

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret
I bet Sim would be like: "wtf? I gave up my life so he could commit suicide to save that genocidal murderer?"

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret paperweights have a proud history on Star Trek, one time everyone on the Enterprise got turned into one for a combination of narrative and budgetary reasons

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret

OK but consider - troi's taste in men

-sent from my cranial implant

personal log supplemental, all right let's finish this bitch 

@Taweret Riker’s looking at Deanna like “god dammit I didn’t know that yet :(“

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