Parcel tracking be like
* shipping was scheduled
* still scheduled
* yeah, still scheduled!
* your order has left the building! I repeat, your order has left the building!
* order is somewhere, promise!
* order has left its home country *sniff*
* order? What order?!
* whoops, customs!
* [order is in the vortex]
* mystery destination!
* you were away from home for five seconds, so get your stuff yourself at [3 km away], earliest tomorrow evening when you have to work, lol
@TQ here in the US we have a budget 'express' delivery service, OnTrac, that a lot of shippers are using now. OnTrac like to dump packages in semi-random locations up to 400 meters from my home, and record then as delivered to "front porch" (obviously not) or "receiving area" (WTF is that? I'm 2.5 km up a forest road. There is no fucking "receiving area", and if there was, it wouldn't be a mud puddle by the side of the road). Past 9 months: 17 deliveries, 17 fuckups, 58 cumulative days late.
