How do you tell if someone's a "real" #author?

Ask if their fever dreams are about ISBN allocation. If they can tell a harrowing tale of Kafkaesque unique ID per copy proportions, then they are a real author.

This test is unashamedly designed to privilege people who are me. Because I deserve some positive worth after getting hammered down for days by the aforementioned fever.

@DaveHiggins I guess I'm not a real author, because that all sailed right over my head.

@BobTarte Probably for the best. The international ISBN situation is almost the opposite of a simple solution to book IDs. So, like some strange Lovecraftian protagonist, I would not wish understanding upon anyone.