Tariq K ✅ @tariqk@octodon.social

Like, oh, I didn't think that this thing I did would get politicized.

My friend, let me tell you the time I learned about how I figured out that that clever, witty thing I did that relied on a marginalized identity was not clever, or not witty, when I wasn't me.

Let me tell you the many, many times, I had to learn that. And let me tell you something: now you get an opportunity to learn it, too.

I hope you do the right thing.

You may wonder why I'm talking about this right now. Is this me, doing more performative ally-ship, telling my queer non-cis non-dudes that I'm safe.

No. I'm telling you, because in some spaces? I don't have that privilege. In some spaces, my brown-ess *is* a political statement. In some spaces, my religious beliefs are a problem. In some spaces, my mental health is a problem.

In some spaces, the person doing that writing off? Is me.

And you know what? if the other (marginalized) person has written me off for something hurtful I did to them? And I find out later that they have? You know who's at fault? You know who?

Me. Because I did it, I didn't think about them and my privilege, and they didn't feel safe to tell me.

I have said, over and over again, that I welcome criticism, and callouts. I also know, and I UNDERSTAND, truly I do, that I am not entitled to it. That the response that someone may have for the shit I say is silence, and a silent note as that person writes me off from being trustworthy or safe to be around. Because calling out people is hard, it's painful, and it's for uncertain benefit.

I have said and done things, as a cishet dude. That one time when I made a disparaging remark over yaoi, forgetting that cishet men, too, flock over sexualized lesbians. times when I've crossed boundaries in some scenes. I have been called out. And it hurts when it happens. But you know what? I'm grateful they happened. Because someone took the time to tell me it was wrong. Spent the energy, knowing it was right, AND it was worth it.

Someone in that thread was like what's the difference between liminal spaces and regional gothic, and I was like that is such a cool question.

Like, from what I remember, regional gothic, like any gothic literature, often traffics in exaggeration of the mundane to the point of the grotesque, often as a commentary of the place.

Whereas liminal spaces are a thing, places removed from context and meaning, and the sensation that evokes.

You *could* do liminal spaces gothic, can't you?

Like, Tumblr often can be and sadly is a shit-show, but I've met loads of cool people there.

Cool things that are happening on Tumblr right now on my friends' circles: we're talking about liminal spaces in Malaysia: https://tariqk.tumblr.com/post/159933457519/liminal-spaces-malaysia

Thanks to @fightingfish for the initial conversation, and the reblogs talking about liminal spaces in Malaysia.

that being said, three-day weekends aren't anymore moments of rest for the spouse and I. By the end of it I was so tired I decided to forgo making lunch and breakfast, I was falling-down tired.

it's partly the weather, too. humidity is so damn high that it just sucks out the energy of you if you don't sit in air-conditioning.

they literally went, “Mummy daddy what u doin?” and we both said, without a beat, “We're bathing, $child_numero_uno!”

They then proceeded to leave the room, and BRING IN CHILD NUMERO DOS.

by that point the spouse was already finishing up the soaping while I was “willing the flesh to go down”, so to speak.

And people wonder why we don't have any more kids.

Not that we want any, judging by how pregnancy messes up the spouse.

like, the spouse and I had a pretty big fight over taxes and getting things done because of a misunderstanding, and after we cuddled and decided we both needed a shower, and things got steamy, and… child numero uno walked in. just… pushed the bathroom door and walked in.

they're used to our nudity, at least. you'd be, too. it's a fucking hot country, man! also, gwailos take off their clothes all their time around here. *we* just do it in the privacy of our own homes.

I wanna talk about mundane stuff. like, we live in an anxious age.

First meeting of the week was the one where I was reminded that I'm now floor warden.

Awww yissss I get a hat and a reflective jacket. #nais

I just had a guy tell me he has to “tolerate subtle racism” to get stuff done, and I'm like, “yeah, but that's FUCKED UP tho”, and he's STILL trying to sell me the Movement™'s Narrative®, and I'm like, but why.

You know, and I know, it's bullshit, it's a pragmatic exercise designed to show those in power what your power is.

Please… please don't internalize it. It's very sad.