Remember how I said that a problem with positivity and recovery culture is that a lot of it is focused on getting past your trauma, and that what gets under-served is that you suffered, you're needing space to recover, and that's okay, there's nothing wrong with you because of it?
https://octodon.social/@tariqk/440752
(gestures ambiguously)
No one comes in wanting to be an oppressor. Yes, they're reacting badly to their trauma, but no one sets out trying to censor people, most people don't start off as authoritarians, or mean to end up being authoritarians.
Like… do you understand how cruel it is to say to people who are undergoing trauma that they need to deal with their trauma *better*?
And how ironic it is, especially if you're traumatized or sick yourself?
I don't ever tell people they need to deal with the unfiltered Internet better. Because IT IS A CRUEL PLACE AND THE LAST THING I OUGHT TO BE DOING IS INJECTING MORE CRUELTY INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES.
And I get that people don't mean to do it. I honestly do. This is a sort of thing that goes back and forth between me and my spouse. You say things that you don't mean to be hurtful, but they are. Or lash out when you need comfort and support. Like… being human is hard and everyone is kind of bad at it.
@RebelMoogle true, but communication also helps a lot
@tariqk what really helped me is to read up on pmdifferent personality types and how they deal with stuff. once I knew my own and my wife's it makes a lot of things easier it at least clearer.