**Tariq K ✅** @tariqk · Apr 25, 2017, 05:20

**Tariq K ✅** @tariqk · Apr 25, 2017, 05:20

Tariq K ✅ @tariqk

Apr 25, 2017, 05:20

being a cishet dude ally, marginalization, silent but deadly Show more

I have said and done things, as a cishet dude. That one time when I made a disparaging remark over yaoi, forgetting that cishet men, too, flock over sexualized lesbians. times when I've crossed boundaries in some scenes. I have been called out. And it hurts when it happens. But you know what? I'm grateful they happened. Because someone took the time to tell me it was wrong. Spent the energy, knowing it was right, AND it was worth it.

**Tariq K ✅** @tariqk · Apr 25, 2017, 05:22

**Tariq K ✅** @tariqk · Apr 25, 2017, 05:22

Apr 25, 2017, 05:22

Tariq K ✅ @tariqk

being a cishet dude ally, marginalization, silent but deadly Show more

I have said, over and over again, that I welcome criticism, and callouts. I also know, and I UNDERSTAND, truly I do, that I am not entitled to it. That the response that someone may have for the shit I say is silence, and a silent note as that person writes me off from being trustworthy or safe to be around. Because calling out people is hard, it's painful, and it's for uncertain benefit.

**Tariq K ✅** @tariqk · Apr 25, 2017, 05:24

**Tariq K ✅** @tariqk · Apr 25, 2017, 05:24

Apr 25, 2017, 05:24

Tariq K ✅ @tariqk

being a cishet dude ally, marginalization, silent but deadly Show more

And you know what? if the other (marginalized) person has written me off for something hurtful I did to them? And I find out later that they have? You know who's at fault? You know who?

Me. Because I did it, I didn't think about them and my privilege, and they didn't feel safe to tell me.

**Tariq K ✅** @tariqk · 2017-04-25T05:27:03Z

Tariq K ✅ @tariqk

being a cishet dude ally, marginalization, silent but deadly Show more

You may wonder why I'm talking about this right now. Is this me, doing more performative ally-ship, telling my queer non-cis non-dudes that I'm safe.

No. I'm telling you, because in some spaces? I don't have that privilege. In some spaces, my brown-ess *is* a political statement. In some spaces, my religious beliefs are a problem. In some spaces, my mental health is a problem.

In some spaces, the person doing that writing off? Is me.

Apr 25, 2017, 05:27 · Web · 0 · 1

**Tariq K ✅** @tariqk · Apr 25, 2017, 05:33

**Tariq K ✅** @tariqk · Apr 25, 2017, 05:33

Apr 25, 2017, 05:33

Tariq K ✅ @tariqk

being a cishet dude ally, marginalization, silent but deadly Show more

Like, oh, I didn't think that this thing I did would get politicized.

My friend, let me tell you the time I learned about how I figured out that that clever, witty thing I did that relied on a marginalized identity was not clever, or not witty, when I wasn't me.

Let me tell you the many, many times, I had to learn that. And let me tell you something: now you get an opportunity to learn it, too.

I hope you do the right thing.