Swerve, Stray @swervestray@octodon.social
same as the bird on the birdsite
Good morning nodes! Would anyone like a little drawing of themself as a peen? https://firecow.cafe/media/ZG0YH_KxhhDzkvBH5zo
The sale is for the shoes. They are baby-sized. They are new. The baby, in its bare feet, draws a line on your paper money with a marker intended to discover counterfeit currency.
The baby's tiny toes are like claws. Its soles rasp on the ground when it walks. These are uncivilized feet, and free.
More free than you, with your money and your horrifying tentacle feet, each one in agony on the hot ground, each sucker-covered appendage in desperate need of shoes, sized to human babies, as no one makes shoes for your kind, ancient as you are... no one who still lives or could be considered sane.
#ff some of my adjacent nodes:
Elder @adri who is currently Nobody, but has been probably 20 somebodys and will be who knows how many more?
@rumen Caretaker of the Firecow, third stomach on the left, and a fine illustrator.
@Traiken Impractical thing-maker, connoisseur of extinction, shiftposter
@havocmantis HAIL HAVOC
and @ViciousCirce, @circumspectre, @frankiegbaby, and @leboism, who are all lurking around here somewhere.
Went on my first date with the ODDLY SHAPED STONE. I can already tell I would have to carry all the weight in this relationship. Not surprised, just disappointed.
this was a good toot
Whenever I make a good decision, however small, I enthusiastically congratulate myself, like a self-development web service smarmily greeting a new user.
why is the fave/boost ratio so small on here
Saturday night. A dull hum emanates from the world outside, which is entirely controlled and occupied by murderous nanobots and which you are trying to ignore. You take another swig of your Long Island iced tea (as you've started calling the acidic juice that you have to drink once an hour to keep up the information-jamming aura around your body that keeps death at bay).
You haven't rewatched every episode of The Simpsons in a couple decades. Maybe it's time.
infinite mathematicians enter a bar. the first orders a pint of beer, the second orders half a pint. the third orders a quarter pint, and the bartender cuts them off there and just pours them two pints
after a time the mathematicians indicate they're ready for another round. as before, the first one orders a pint and the second orders a half. when the third orders a third of a pint the bartender says "actually i think you've all had enough for tonight"
roses are red
violets are blue
in surveillance capitalism
poem reads you
and shows you ads
for flower shops
and tracks your clicks
and never stops
it cares not about
if privacy's harmed
the money is green
when people are farmed
twitter is cyan
facebook is blue
your friends are the product
and so are you
Thursday. The one remaining eye on your dilapidated Watching Wall stares weakly down at you, imploring. The wall itself shudders perilously as a cold wind blows in from the east.
The wolves will be strong today.
You clamber gingerly to the top of the wall and start rechalking the protective net.
Where do I order my JNCOrts
Wednesday. As you wash your hands after an unusually satisfying siht, a pair of half-mechanical snakes slithers, clanking up out of the drain, and winds around your arms. You head back to the desk. The snakes tighten around your elbows. Against your will you open Microsoft Word and start typing, "SsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssgronkssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssGRONKsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssgrrrrrronkssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss"
To build your business successfully, you have to load the top of your sales funnel first. The funnel protrudes invisibly from the top of every business owner's head. You load the top of the funnel by sitting on top of a stack of sales and marketing best-sellers, closing your eyes, and projecting your aura into the market, until the market comes to you!
I will be your business mentor if you need someone to teach you how to spend 12 hours at your desk without accomplishing anything.
GOOD MORNING ALL YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE.
I HAVE SMOTE THE ALARM CLOCK.
EGGS AND COFFEE ARE WITHIN MY GRASP.
I AM READY TO CHANNEL ABSOLUTE POWER AND PLEASANT PHRASES INTO YOUR FEED.
YOU AND I WILL REACH THE SKY
Would you beleivv, beees
I couldn't get funding for my scrap metal rocket so I rebranded it as a research mission to prove that birds aren't real
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It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead! Show more
