Swerve, Stray @swervestray@octodon.social
same as the bird on the birdsite
Thursday. The one remaining eye on your dilapidated Watching Wall stares weakly down at you, imploring. The wall itself shudders perilously as a cold wind blows in from the east.
The wolves will be strong today.
You clamber gingerly to the top of the wall and start rechalking the protective net.
@rumen kill you? nah they're harmless, they just need to appropriate human bodies to draft their manifesto for them
Where do I order my JNCOrts
ya mastodon is really great Show more
@oneoddfrog lies, it has no flaw
@Ghost if you need aversion therapy I'm sure everyone on Mastodon will be happy to compliment you all day
@sydneyfalk @somarasu @gargron *pretending to know what that is* oh yeah, haha exactly
Wednesday. As you wash your hands after an unusually satisfying siht, a pair of half-mechanical snakes slithers, clanking up out of the drain, and winds around your arms. You head back to the desk. The snakes tighten around your elbows. Against your will you open Microsoft Word and start typing, "SsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssgronkssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssGRONKsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssgrrrrrronkssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss"
To build your business successfully, you have to load the top of your sales funnel first. The funnel protrudes invisibly from the top of every business owner's head. You load the top of the funnel by sitting on top of a stack of sales and marketing best-sellers, closing your eyes, and projecting your aura into the market, until the market comes to you!
@Ghost okay hold on, wait, I might know something else.
I will be your business mentor if you need someone to teach you how to spend 12 hours at your desk without accomplishing anything.
GOOD MORNING ALL YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE.
I HAVE SMOTE THE ALARM CLOCK.
EGGS AND COFFEE ARE WITHIN MY GRASP.
I AM READY TO CHANNEL ABSOLUTE POWER AND PLEASANT PHRASES INTO YOUR FEED.
YOU AND I WILL REACH THE SKY
Would you beleivv, beees
I couldn't get funding for my scrap metal rocket so I rebranded it as a research mission to prove that birds aren't real
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It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead! Show more
Ruin a date in one sentence Show more
derp whomst've derped unto you, imo
@DanielBecce thank you, you are the first to notice 🤣
