But now he's just gone. And I have this tattoo on my finger forever.
When things were at their worst, they were unbearable. And then we had a truce, then friendship, but I was still so insecure and jealous.
On a group about grief, I saw a post from the person he did end up with. And she posted his cremains. And I'm devastated.
But we didn't live in the same region, I had kids, and he needed someone there, all the time. So we didn't last.
I have a tattoo on my finger that I got with someone I once truly believed to be my soulmate. I felt like everything in my life led up to meeting him and marrying him one day. He was the first trans* person, who had accepted and transitioned, I ever had a relationship with, and changed my mind on a lot of issues. He'd done a lot of dirty work on changing himself over the years, and was willing to slog through it with me.
As for my first foray into fermentation, my scoby is making a baby. 48 hours in, and I think I might be free of the $2.50/$3 bottles of kombucha in a week or so.
Today went much better. I made it pretty clear that I was just there to work and not socialize. Of course, the only downside is feeling left out of the fucking boys' club. But I got my work done, did other work, and kept one earbud in my good ear and left the bad ear open so that they were muffled but I could perk up if I heard them trying to get my attention. Much better work environment, this way.
I'm pretty sure there's a correlation to the satisfaction I find in pimple popping, lipoma removing, earwax removing, and the like videos and days when I'm twitchy from socializing with people so far from my own political spectrum.
Oh boy, if this president gets impeached, one side of the night crew will go on about deep state conspiracies to confiscate their guns. If it's because of Stormy Daniels, the other side will go on about how the donald's life is ruined by the #metoo brigade.
Now I'm thinking about the Switchblade Symphony concert at the tiny club and the woman I met who was gorgeous, creative and everything I could ever want, but I wasn't in a good place and she'll never know how I dug myself out of my shit...
#nowplaying #vantaplay #fediplay #stonedjam
Switchblade Symphony - Dissolve
The others talk non-stop about guns, and how whiny teachers are about not being paid enough and losing their pensions, and this one goes on about how horrible us wimminz are. I am stabby today...
Also, he talks about horrible snowflakes, and how they've overrun his homestate of CA, and of course the horrible SJWs who are ruining art.
I'm seriously having a hard time dealing with this little shit at work. He's arrogant and his masculinity is as fragile as wet tissue paper. He whines about feminists non-fucking-stop. I'm having a hard time not throat punching him, at this point.
Strands have grown from the disk of culture like tentacles, after 12 hours. I think the culture is still living - not that it's falling apart. Going to keep an eye on it for anything untoward, like vinegar eels. I have been putting off researching what those really are. I should do that.
Sweet tea is made. I keep my filtered water in the fridge though. It always seems like it warms up so fast, I thought an hour would do. Haha. Even with the boiled concentrate, I need to warm it up to about 77 degrees. I already had a heating pad and a thermometer. I have a lot of the tools already. Only needed a larger glass container, rubber band and the culture scoby thing. I'll get the bottles over the next week.
My eyes have turned toward making kombucha. I like the taste. I do feel a ton better drinking this and having stopped drinking a liter or so of Diet Dr. Pepper a day. Not going to claim it's magical. However, because of my years of magick, I want something to replace that crafty-ness of herbalism. This just might help in that hobby-seeking direction. Wish me *luck*.
It seems to be a combination of 5-HTP and having a very physically active job.
So. Hi. I have been sleeping like crazy. It's been real sleep, too. I woke up tonight feeling young. Of course, then I tried to get up and my body reminded me I'm not. ;)
I love playing the detective in Sims 4. lol
