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trying to get my cat to give me a neck massage by putting him on my shoulders.
...it's kind of working?
He's apparently pretty happy being a shoulder cat. I took him off my shoulders and he immediately climbed back up and started purring again.
@jamey You need to clone him so you can upgrade to DUAL SHOULDER-MOUNTED KITTIES. 
@starbreaker I already have two cats, as it happens! Since your comment, I've been trying to find an opportunity to see if they're willing to pose for a dual-wield shoulder-mounted cat picture, but... well, you know, cats. 😼