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julian assange 

hot take julian assange is so popular because despite being useless and awful he's a presentable white male and this appeals to every other useless and awful white male

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julian assange 

julian assange is a massive piece of shit and there are so many more activists who deserve your support more than him jfc

I have a recurring nightmare that I'm out in public not wearing pants

arkansas is to kansas as archive is to chive

I will not be expounding further

lewd 

I ****ed her. Just like you **** a carburetor. And it felt good, just like ****ing a carburetor!

A neural net trained on judge Judy episode transcripts that can render court verdicts in seconds

military propaganda 

reminder that if you see military recruitment propaganda left alone somewhere in public you can just take all of the sheets and cards at once, fold them into your pocket, and recycle them somewhere else

it's very unlikely that anyone will notice

food 

happiness is just a type of ice cream

Brb consolidating Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts into Mortal Scouts

The only thing the goa'uld did right was their obsession with aesthetics it's too bad only Ra was good at it.

mario kart battle royale where everyone has infinite blue shells.

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if you drive a car backwards it actually puts gasoline back in the engine

BOOST if you're old enough to remember when using a computer looked like THIS

youtu.be/kWVFEVWJMz8

on twitter you know what time it is. on mastodon you have the time.

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