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I just woke my laptop from its nightly slumber and I don't know why but here's what happens when I try to enter my username (same for password, even in LightDM). I'll try and slide in through SSH but I have no clue why it thinks I'm pushing CTRL and meta constantly.

Shawn K. Quinn @skquinn

@_sharpLimefox Tap the CTRL and ALT keys a few times. This sends the break codes for CTRL and ALT so the computer realizes they aren't being held down.

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@skquinn It didn't work in the console, as I assumed, but it did on Xorg's seat. I assume that somehow my graphic tablet's button must have been pushed for so long that the system hibernated after the +ctrl command but before the -ctrl break code, or something like that (though I have no ctrl+alt hotkey set on my tablet).
Anyway, it works now, thanks!