julian @shipyrds@octodon.social

my roommate had a friend over for dinner and asked me to play buffer bc they're not on the best of terms rn and literally five minutes into dinner he disappeared to take a phone call.
a good bit later he shows back up, pissed as hell, and is all, "i have to go." apparently one of his weed plants got stolen and he needed to go beat a guy up?? it was simultaneously the most uneventful and the most Wild night i've had in a while

he bought his son a baseball bat and when he opened it they were both crying, and also, so was i,

me: dads are garbage #nogooddads
any dad in any form of media, ever: i'm proud of you, son
me, immediately and profusely weeping: t....th...thank you......

I should not have listened to this while eating breakfast I almost choked on my yogurt

HA! HA! every single politician is terrible, can't wait until my spectral, shrieking form can haunt their every waking nightmare

i need a new job so i can afford to start seeing a therapist again and i need to start seein a therapist again so i have the mental energy to apply for jobs. love this,

ANYWAY HOPE Y'ALL ARE HAVING A NICE MONDAY

THRONDIR ISN'T SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT HIS BODY 👏👏👏
THRONDIR IS FAT BECAUSE HE FINALLY HAS UNFETTERED ACCESS TO FOOD 👏👏👏 HE'S VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT AND ALSO, REALLY HOT 👏👏👏

depression meal level: cheerios with lemonade (i really, really need to go get groceries)

this isn't that weird for that kind of twitter tbh but this weirdly corporate city sunrise is killing me

y'all some jesus twitter followed me (???) and i've found a new candidate name https://octodon.social/media/6RwTKkauDfk6wHCq8RI

i want the chat to never stop making bee puns but also to cease immediately

cassender timaeus berenice is my datemate and I love them

it's 2:43 am I gotta go to sleep but also, Jesus

it's not even the finale and I cried a lot? the finale is going! to destroy me! entirely!

HI I FINISHED THE EP AND I WOULD JUST LIKE TO REITERATE, WHAT THE FUXK,

HI I GOT. TO THE BIT WITH MAKOS IN VATS AND I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY WHAT THE FUXK

well it's a good thing i'm up working on this gift exchange bc NEW EP IS UP

God of COURSE he's played by riff raff

I'm dying about this Lazer Ted bit