I gather that someone has done unexpectedly well in the sportsball. It must be exceptional to have pierced my calculated bundle of who gives a f***?

Google maps just randomly told me I was in Swindon. The train I was in was going in the other direction. Weird bug, massive panic ensued.

If you can get to Islington tomorrow night, I definitely recommend Paradise Rocks, @simonindelicate`s deconstructivist reimagining of Milton's Paradise Lost as an Elvis movie.

Wow. The singles charts on my 14th birthday were full of shit.

HMRC sent me an email with the subject "self employed and need help". I regard this as an accurate summary.

Also, have you noticed how no one is really bothered about the increased character limit any more? I wish I understood why people hate change so much.

Can someone explain to me how a Twitter block is a both a remedy for avoiding time eating energy draining assholes, but to the blocked is proof of their moral superiority? I'm pretty sure it can't be both, let I keep seeing people claiming victory when blockedby an asshat.

I remain delighted that the book God Emperor of Didcot exists but saddened that there's absolutely no way it could possibly be as good as its astonishing title.

When did "any snow that hangs around for more than 5 minutes" become "severe weather" exactly?

I'm not saying it's cold in London but all of Queens Park Rangers just swore a solemn oath to take no wife, hold no lands, and father no children.

Black Panther makes me happy because the next generation will grow up internalising that people of colour have equally valid stories and agency. It is a coffin mail for inequality. It's also a really good action film.

Ultraviolet is a bad film. It's incoherent nonsense that doesn't even succeed in its own terms as a stylistic piece. It feels child and clinical but but not in the way it intended. Also if your lead is a badass vampire getting her murder on, you need to show not imply that.

When my partner is away, I like to watch bad films, let things we have already seen, because I want to watch the good stuff with him.

It occurs to me that The Dunning-Kruger Effect would be a great name for a band.

Every time I see this place, I think "but where would I go for Sunday best?"

Need to get from Northallerton to Cambridge tomorrow. Once again I feel a powerful urge to punch Dr Beeching on the nose.

Now patiently awaiting the inevitable "is your child texting about plums in the refrigerator" tweet.

People confuse me. Suppose someone brings you a present of home baked brownies, but you don't like brownies. Giving them back is rude, but to me "wasting" their efforts by taking and throwing out the brownies seems far more disrespectful.

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Octodon is a nice general purpose instance. more