rhorsman @rhorsman@octodon.social

I still haven't listened to the finale of The Adventure Zone's Balance Arc, because if I start crying right now I'm not going to stop and I ain't got time for that.

I gotta get my chemistry sorted out. I was good and happy on Monday, and then ping ponging between anxiety and lethargy the last two days. Getting really tired of this.

Achievements unlocked: applied update to rooted phone. Successfully both applied update and kept root, making only one really dumb mistake along the way.

The nice thing about Masto is I don't feel anxious about it if I don't post for a few days. It's a nice drop in network.

Finished a book about occultist Kenneth Grant and thought it might be interesting to read some of his books...the most affordable versions of which start at 70 bucks. And no libraries in my network have circulating copies, unsurprisingly. So putting that project on the back burner.

(Yes I found a torrent with a few of them, but it looks like they're PDFs from 8 years ago, which are probably not going to be super readable versions.)

These days, when I'm not depressed, it's really hard for me to remember what being depressed feels like. On the one hand, this makes it harder to recreate the feeling and wallow in it. On the other hand, actual episodes of depression feel a little novel and harder to cope with now. Is there a name for this?

I have my phone set to flip to night mode at 9:40PM. At the same time I have a vibrating alarm on my watch set up. It's a multimedia happening just for me and its subject is "PLEASE GO TO BED SOON."

So it turns out Daphne Oram invented like 80% of what I love about contemporary music, and I'd never heard of her until today. #Hyperbole

3 days in: the OnePlus 5 is pretty fab. None of the One's weaknesses remain, build quality is solid, feels good in the hand, and Oxygen's tweaks to stock Android are all solid. And it's fast.

In re rooting: worth it for the ad blocking alone. Haven't dug into anything more sophisticated yet.

Post workout, post shower, haven't left the bathroom, listening to Fucked Up, and hoping that somehow there will be a completely different world out there when I finally give in and open the door.

Achievements unlocked:

-Rooted phone

-Got chided by an app for having a rooted phone

-Used root manager settings to hide the fact phone is rooted from that app going forward

The Raven Stratagem is really starting to frustrate me. It's clearly a choice to convey almost all of the events in the book through significant conversations, so we're getting a layered perception of what's going on, but I'm three quarters of the way through and it's not coming together. It's also missing most of the weirdness that made Ninefox Gambit stand out, though there are flashes of it, like the "geese".

I think the only time I have nostalgia for is that period when we viewed nostalgia with deep suspicion. Those were the days!

"the last few chapters" not "he last few chapters." Friggin shitty fingers.

Raven Stratagem wasn't clicking for me until I went back and re-read your he last few chapters of Ninefox Gambit. I'd already forgotten a lot, and the book dives right into a new world where you really need to remember how the previous book ended to get the full effect.

Hmm, can't seen to fall asleep. Almost all the way through an episode of Sleep With Me, which almost never happens. At least I feel calm, just not sleepy.

Something has happened where my anxiety has been dialed way down and it's paradoxically unsettling. I haven't made any big life or habit changes. No medical changes. Exercising a tiny bit more, but no more than I've done at other times in the past. I am reading more, and every day. Maybe that's it?

Don't get me wrong: I'm happy about being less anxious, I just don't understand why.

Please let this be the last year that I have to read any of John C Wright's shitty prose.