wandering around the husks of mastodon accounts abandoned since september 2018 and livin in them like a hermit crab

there's some good space here in these dead accounts. we'll have to spray for roaches, of course, but a fresh coat of paint could serve these places well

there's probably a lot of people without any accounts at all that could use a 200 follower account like this

@realmaxkeeble I'm buying up the abandoned accounts and gentrifying them, creating a space where influencers can park their clout to avoid taxes and have a place to vacation every so often when Twitter goes down

@robotcarsley og mastodon accounts who never left look at these renoed accounts with disgust. spray paint appears on the side of one that says "coming soon to this location: charming ruins"

@realmaxkeeble I'm funneling money into the campaign of a YIMBY candidate for Eugen. He promises tax breaks for woke brands that choose to relocate to Mastodon.

@realmaxkeeble in this season of This Old Account, we're rehabilitating this sad dated empty box of an account into a lovely and livable Midcentury Modern account

@Aleums long abandoned replies. quiet, lonely, dick pics from the initial boom of horniness. looks like the two of you interacted once. it was pleasant. i wonder what happened to them. like a flash, they were here, and having fun. then they were gone, just as suddenly as they came


I just load whatever I find onto my own account, for decoration and/or ballast. True to my namesake. The stack of lucky finds gets ever-higher or more complex, but I remain me deep down. :D

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