Ugh, marketing. Can capitalism just die already?
What words will the Trump administration ban next?
"Our love can never be."
"You are a pencil, and I am one of those electric sharpeners. I- I would only destroy you in the end."
"But don't you see? Until then you would keep me sharp!"
"Right now I'm not even out of the box. Without you, I- I can't do anything! I love you! Let's be together!"
"Even if you turn into a useless nub?"
"Even then, I won't regret it. I promise!"
"Oh, Number 2!"
OK, second helping completed. Now wondering what the refractory period on Orgasmic Fiery Curry might be, so I can have a third.
Might take a few days to recover.
The cat has just fled the room. I think she fears getting her fur singed if I exhale in her direction.
OK. Maybe a second serving.
5min: I HAVE ACHIEVED COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS. I HAVE NO NEED OF YOU MORTAL FOOLS ANY LONGER.
Although I could use a drink. A big drink. Beer. Milk? Is there a horse trough nearby?
4min: Third eye rises on a stalk like a cobra, weaving about. It sees all. I see…you. I slurp in your knowledge. It is mine now.
3min: Rising pressure of expanding brain causes parietal bones to snap skyward with a resounding crack. Brain completely exposed. Pulsing, throbbing, absorbing all.
2min: Frontal bone has disintegrated. Forebrain directly exposed to environmental sensory input. Awareness of my surroundings increased 1000%.
1min: Flesh of my face evaporating away in a crimson mist. Cenobites show up in awe, asking for tips.
eatin' mah curry.
30s: Sinuses all clear. It's like having a super-charger on my respiration: Oxygen intake up 500%. I feel like a god.
After a long, long day of grading, the only thing to do is melt my face off. Curry is simmering away right now, and since the wife is away, I've thrown everything spicy into the pot.
Oh, man, it smells good right now.
Is “celebrity” synonymous with “hemorrhoid”?
Star Wars: The Last Jedi survived the Hot Buttered Poop test, which is something. (No spoilers)
Matt Damon and Tom Hanks just ruined men for me forever.