I am so, so damn tired of the violent outrage culture prevalent in many parts of online activist culture, especially birbsite. Very often, you see somebody riffing on their own *projection* of what somebody else has said.

Current example:
https://twitter.com/dramaqueer_n/status/933434591259525120

The whole thread is based on the false assumption that the other party said "being a trans woman is comparably marginalized as being an adoptive parent". And a really, really short exchange, too.

Relatedly, I also see some trans women name-dropping the "aggressive trans women" stereotype to excuse their extremely aggressive, violent behavior towards others.

It makes it impossible to validly criticize their shitty violent behavior because any callout of it suddenly becomes an act of transmisogyny.

I get that sometimes people have to vent. I do that too. I don't advocate for tone-policing, but for folks in activism treating others (especially other trans activists!) better.

And I really hate how the violent outbursts seem to be shared more widely than the calm voices. It's a general problem of the amplification chamber that we knows as social media.

I also would hope that some memes like "I won't explain this to you unless you pay me" weren't used so very extensively and in situations where nobody even demanded an explanation in the first place.

I want an activism that encourages discourse and learning and where folks don't explode over being called out.

And in general, if your activism throws other marginalized folks under the bus, then it's shitty activism. It doesn't matter if these people face much less problems than you do. You don't get to play oppression olympics. You don't even get to quantify other people's oppression.

It's usually not just possible but hell easy to state the same message, but still be respectful of others. Instead of treating the marginalization of adoptive mothers as a hypothetical, acknowledge it! Ally yourself!