And in general, if your activism throws other marginalized folks under the bus, then it's shitty activism. It doesn't matter if these people face much less problems than you do. You don't get to play oppression olympics. You don't even get to quantify other people's oppression.

It's usually not just possible but hell easy to state the same message, but still be respectful of others. Instead of treating the marginalization of adoptive mothers as a hypothetical, acknowledge it! Ally yourself!