I am so, so damn tired of the violent outrage culture prevalent in many parts of online activist culture, especially birbsite. Very often, you see somebody riffing on their own *projection* of what somebody else has said.
Current example:
https://twitter.com/dramaqueer_n/status/933434591259525120
The whole thread is based on the false assumption that the other party said "being a trans woman is comparably marginalized as being an adoptive parent". And a really, really short exchange, too.
And I really hate how the violent outbursts seem to be shared more widely than the calm voices. It's a general problem of the amplification chamber that we knows as social media.
I also would hope that some memes like "I won't explain this to you unless you pay me" weren't used so very extensively and in situations where nobody even demanded an explanation in the first place.
I want an activism that encourages discourse and learning and where folks don't explode over being called out.
To come back to that thread, it makes me sick in the stomach as a trans mother that some trans women apparently think it's fine to throw adoptive mothers under the bus. TERFs do hate both groups, heck some even hate mothers who give birth by C-Section, it's a friggin *vagina cult* after all.
You can be sure as hell imma ally myself with adoptive mothers. Alll mothers, in fact.
Being a mother means belonging to yet another category of marginalization, and I'm slowly grasping what it means.
And in general, if your activism throws other marginalized folks under the bus, then it's shitty activism. It doesn't matter if these people face much less problems than you do. You don't get to play oppression olympics. You don't even get to quantify other people's oppression.
It's usually not just possible but hell easy to state the same message, but still be respectful of others. Instead of treating the marginalization of adoptive mothers as a hypothetical, acknowledge it! Ally yourself!
And no, I *don't* believe that I can expect this of you before you open your virtual mouth and spew crap a over the place. That happens.
I *do* expect you to shut up and listen when someone calls you out on it, and not give bullshit excuses like "come on, let trans women have their humorous moments where they process their oppression"
Because no, you don't get to process at other marginalized people's expense. Do better.
(Sorry, I really should've CWd all that, I forgot. I will do so next time, promise)
@natanji for toots like that I've always liked to follow you. since way back when on birdsite.
@distelfliege Awww, thank you!
@natanji Hey, could you maybe consider putting toots like this one behind a CW (e.g. CW: birdsite, ranting)?
Lots and lots of "Hey all, look at this person who has bad views" is one of the main reasons I mostly left birdsite for mastodon. Seeing it over here also makes me uncomfortable. So I'd really appreciate if you could CW it. Thanks!
@aekis Will consider that next time, thanks
@natanji
hab von dramaq. bisser fast nur problematisches mitbekommen tbh. ._.
@natanji I'm not commenting on the example, because I didn't read birbsite lately, but what you said about "outrage culture" feels so true.
now that I'm taking a break from it chilling on mastodon, I'm not missing it a bit.
Relatedly, I also see some trans women name-dropping the "aggressive trans women" stereotype to excuse their extremely aggressive, violent behavior towards others.
It makes it impossible to validly criticize their shitty violent behavior because any callout of it suddenly becomes an act of transmisogyny.
I get that sometimes people have to vent. I do that too. I don't advocate for tone-policing, but for folks in activism treating others (especially other trans activists!) better.