So I've wondered a lot in the past few days whether I might have some form of AD(H)S and I wonder how I might find out about that? Any input appreciated.
I've noticed lately that it is incredibly hard for me to stay focused on other people in social situations. I very, very frequently will look at my phone and distract myself when I'm in a group of people. I've never considered #ADHS so far because I can be very focused on other things though, like playing video games.
I've always multitasked a lot. I remember that chatting with me for longer periods of time usually ended up in me browsing the net on the side and taking really long for replies. Waiting around for someone to reply is very tiresome for me. Even when phoning or skyping with someone, I often distract myself with other things and can't very well focus on what the other person is saying. Like, I'm *bad* at multitasking, but I do it all the time still.
I found it notoriously difficult to follow lectures at uni and always did something on the side, like surfing the net.
Yet I did finish my M.Sc. in Computern Science as the best of my year. I was able to study well. Which is one of the main reasons why this somehow never seemed to fit for me, I have two close friends who were diagnosed with #ADHS as kids and who really need their meds to be able to do well.
Then again, I'm also gifted (as a kid my parents took me to an IQ test, was >130).
I'm currently slogging along in my PhD because reading scientific papers and focusing on what is said there, as well as getting ideas of my own, is incredibly difficult for me. Heck, I mostly stopped reading books in puberty.
My brain feels like it basically wants to be rewarded much more quickly, and without those rewards I get distracted very easily. I've blamed video games conditioning me this way, but dunno if that is even realistic.
Could this be #ADHS? Or some other condition? Any input?
Also, it's hard for me to seek professional diagnosis because I am *already* in psychotherapy for being trans, and will start the appropriate hormone treatment soon.
I'm afraid of bringing this up with my therapist because they're rather trans-focused, not a specialist on #ADHS. And I can't seek another therapist without having to privately pay them (aka shitton of money) while I'm still with this therapist.
So I'm looking for #selfdx help at the moment, as well as input from people with #ADHS
@natanji if you got other stuff going on, probably wouldn't experiment with drugs either. They can through things off and don't always work to begin with.
@natanji if you get the diagnosis here, only one outcome of that is drugs, the other bits are finding ways for you to deal with it, find some structures, helping you to not eat yourself up over it in frustration etc. It also doesn't have to be a problem, there's lots of advantages in regards to creativity for one.
@natanji hope I'm helpful, goodluck in any case. And willing to give advice/think along if desired.
@natanji another thing that works well for me is working with people on things. Like reading or studying together. Guard each others distraction if needed ;)
@webmind This is exactly what I have done when studying, and I was hell successful with it.
Now in my PhD I don't do that anymore and I just... fall apart and can't manage shit
@natanji if it worked, try to do it again for your phd?
@webmind Unfortunately the way my chair is organized, this is not possible. Every PhD student has their own topic which is very much removed from the others own.
@natanji you might not work on the same topic, but working in the same space can already help perhaps?
@webmind For me that doesn't help, no. But thanks for the suggestion
@natanji
Here’s what worked for me:
1) see if there’s a non-expensive medication that can help you, if you want. Sometimes it isn’t possible to “power through” ADHD.
2) noise canceling headphones + ambient music (like soma.fm’s drone zone) really help to keep me focused.
3) schedule everything in your day in a calendar from meals to university to travel. The less you have to think about, the better.
4) have an accountability buddy. “I’m going to do x” then after, report to them.
@natanji i didn't offer anything because it looks like you're getting plenty of good advice, but I DID have to Google ADHS :)
@naga Still, feel free to offer yours as well!
@natanji oh, I don't have it. I was just going to offer other possibilities with similar effects, but the later discussion sounds very much like ADD
@natanji (adults are less likely to have the 'H'). One question that might help: what happens when you drink caffeine? The ADD brain often reacts differently from NT.
@naga I feel mostly like caffeine doesn't do much for me, at least during the times where I drank high-caffeine drinks like Club Mate regularly... I never had much shakiness from it, like other people describe. And never understood how some folks might have trouble falling asleep when they are on caffeine
@natanji Yep, that's entirely consistent with ADD.
@natanji My wife has adult ADD and it's much like you describe. She has an optimal level of distraction to actually be able to do the thing she wants to.
@naga Wait, an optimal level of distraction? Like, some distraction is good and then she can be productive? Like only. working with music playing or so?
@natanji Exactly. Sort of like your fiddling with your phone at a social event. Or in her case needing conversation or NPR while driving, which occupies the "oh, squirrel!" part of her brain and she has just the right amount of attention left to be a good driver.
Without that optimized level, *something* will catch her attention and possibly increase the risk in driving.
@natanji it's the same here. I also get tired from to much caffeine. But this helps concentrating because all the senses aren't that aktive anymore.
@naga I'd very much like the other suggestions too, because I'm afraid of becoming too focused on ADD, so please share other ideas you have! :)
@natanji Ich antworte mal auf Deutsch, weil ich gerade nicht den Kopf für die Übersetzung hab.
Ich kann dir hier ein paar Dinge nennen die ich aus eigener Erfahrung und den Gesprächen mit anderen Menschen mit AD(H)S habe.
Häufig ist es so, dass du einfach die Sinnesreize nicht filtern kannst. Sprich, es kommt erstmal alles mit der gleichen Priorität ins Bewusstsein. Das sorgt für eine extrem hohe Load wodurch man zum einen leicht abgelenkt wird und sich zum anderen nicht konzentrieren kann.
@natanji manchmal kann zwischen drin aber eine Art Hyperfokussierung stattfinden, in der man sich für Stunden von nichts ablenken lässt (eher sehr selten).
Was die Medis da tun ist in der Regel einfach eine Betäubung. Sprich es kommen einfach nicht mehr so viele Reize durch. Ist meiner Meinung nach ein furchtbares Gefühl. Ich empfinde das da als sehr langsam Denken und alles, echt nicht schön.
@natanji was aber zumindest bei mir hilft ist zum einen Übung. Zum anderen aber auch zum Beispiel mit Musik einen leicht zu filternden Reiz zu schaffen der schwer zu filterndes Grundrauschen von der Umgebung übertönt.
@natanji Letztlich ist es ziemlich schwer da anhand der Beschreibung etwas zu sagen. Btw. kann es sein, dass die HRT darauf ne Auswirkung haben wird.
@natanji wenn du konkrete Fragen hast, kann ich dir auch gerne da noch versuchen zu helfen :)
@leah Oh, inwiefern tut HRT damit etwas? Das würde mich sehr interessieren. Startet hoffentlich bald...
@natanji als bei mir hat es halt so nen bisschen die Hummeln im Arsch bzw. den Drang ständig irgendwas tun zu müssen erledigt.
Drücke dir da schon mal die Daumen.
@leah Genau das empfinde ich nicht, darum hab ich auch AD(H)S nie so richtig in Erwägung gezogen. Icu fühle mich nicht bombardiert von Eindrücken, so wie das zT auch Autist*innen beschreiben. Es ist als wenn mein Fokus von selbst weg geht, besonders in sozialen Situationen. Dass ich mich dauernd rausziehe. Aber ein Gefühl von "zu viele Eindrücke" oder "nicht filtern können" hab ich nicht. Mir hilft auch nicht zB Geräuschquellen abzustellen sondern eher, wenn nich Musik läuft.
@leah Also mir geht's quasi eher doof, wenn nicht alle meine Sinne mit irgendwas saturiert werden.
@natanji I have the opposite problem. 🙈
Therapist is for ADHD. Not for trans. I don't know if I should talk about this with my therapist. -.-
@natanji I can recommend literature from Piero Rossi and Cordula Neuhaus.
@natanji it's sounds recognisable. Online tests can help, but with all the overlapping symptoms, don't bite yourself into a diagnosis. Can't hurt to look at how other people deal with it and see what works for you.