At some point we have to try and take our foot off the peddle of continually attacking and eviscerating everything that upsets us. We have to take stock of the fact that 1. We are traumatised. 2. There will always be thousands of newly out people joining the fray seeing enemies all around them for the first time ever looking for anything that will momentarily pull them out of experiencing this acute pain they've pushed down all their lives.
I dunno, but i just feel we need a better structure of inferred rules of decency and trying to move beyond anger, that we pass on to those joining because thanks to point 1, our trauma, we are always going to find good logical excuses as to why its fine actually for us to be so hateful, but its not good for us.
difficulty controlling your emotions
feeling very hostile or distrustful towards the world
constant feelings of emptiness or hopelessness
feeling as if you are permanently damaged or worthless
feeling as if you are completely different to other people
feeling like nobody can understand what happened to you
avoiding friendships and relationships, or finding them very difficult
often experiencing dissociative symptoms such as depersonalisation or derealisation
regular suicidal feelings.
these symptoms are what we have to assume many trans people are going to have when they come out. We have to find a structure and rules that helps mitigate the behaviour this leads to rather than enable it with philosophy and theory about how its someone elses fault and we're all totally fine.
um so yeah.
the above isn't any pathologizing of being transgender by the way. It's the symptoms of someone who has repeated traumatization in childhood.
re: trans anger
@mxsiege oh hey apparently i recognize the list of complex ptsd symptoms on sight by now :-(
but ... yeah. the question of "how to be in community where stepping on each other's deep-seated, basically *formative* trauma is almost guaranteed, and how to make mutual safety a thing that happens despite that" is one i don't know how to answer
almost seems like there's a hard upper limit on the size of any one community where it can be true, but i hate the idea of that
re: trans anger
but my confidence kind of just shot into space five months into HRT.
i don't mind what people think of my appearance or misgender me.
i am now very happily me.
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