Mastodon is the first time I can think of where theres a huge trans community which has a wide spread of ages and other demographics, is not locked off from cis people, and isn't constantly under attack. That's pretty momentous and It's incredibly normalising.
Love to all the cis allies with pronouns in their descriptions too. Y'all are great.
@mxsiege I've seen it in small closed communities on Facebook, but they're members only, with strict rules.
@fearlessknits Yeah, I was just realising how we're so often fighting within ourselves to either constantly be shouting for rights and dealing with transphobia (as on twitter and public facebook feeds) or we're policing ourselves in private groups, arguing over who wants to talk about anti-trans stuff and who wants to just chill and feeling more isolated (as in facebook groups, discord etc).
So we're always ending up feeling isolated, apart from others, and stressed the heck out.
@fearlessknits Feels like here we're getting a new sort of visibility. The visibility of us relaxing, laughing, getting sexy, making jokes about ourselves and our lives.. and its in direct comparison to cis people doing exactly the same.
Suddenly the walls fall.
@mxsiege I'm so glad! I'm cis, but three of my partners are trans, so I've become aware over time of just how exclusionary most of the world is to the people I love. None of them have yet joined Masto, but I'm working on it. The structure and tools available make such a difference. May I share your posts with my partners to try and persuade them it's safe to join? (Obvs my cis ass is never going to be the best judge of trans safety)
@fearlessknits Of course totally! 💜 Good luck in your quest to bring them on board 😘
@mxsiege Thank you ☺️
@mxsiege it’s so freeing 💖
@mxsiege honestly, this is one of the best things about being here. aside from rl spaces where i am in small groups of queer people where asking about pronouns is normalised, i can’t think of any other equivalent anywhere else online, not like this.
it’s a dizzying thought that this particular feeling of freedom and not being under scrutiny, or pawns in political discourse, is what cis people have everywhere, more or less.
@mxsiege I disagree on politics with people and I look at some toots thinking "overreacting much?", but the fact that mastodon has basically zero personal attacks on people because of identity or affiliation is so nice!
@mxsiege Its been just absolutely lovely being a member of this community with so many trans people without feeling like I was encroaching on a space meant for them that I didn't belong in. I feel very welcomed and at ease around trans people, because I know they would never criticize me for any of my more gender noncomforming traits that other people in society have ridiculed me for. It feels like a very safe space here and I'm really happy to be a part of it.
@mxsiege i'm glad you're here and glad you've been enjoying it. welcome!
@mxsiege so true. Other than a couple of fairly small and disconnected queer discords I've never experienced anything quite like this
@mxsiege question about this: I’m cishet, would it be tacky for me to have my pronouns somewhere visible? I want to support all of you but I don’t want to seem “performatively woke”, you know what I mean?
@bakeshakenbake Oh no, I can see why you might think it but its quite the opposite, totally encouraged in fact.
Having pronouns displayed whether you're cis or trans helps normalize it so its not just another thing that labels, outs or isolates trans peeps. Same for when people introduce themselves going around a room.
When more allies have their pronouns visible, it means its just a social convention, trans or not.
@mxsiege great, thanks for the quick response on this!
@bakeshakenbake No worries, if you or anyone has any other queries on trans stuff you'd normally be worried about asking, I'm always happy to try my best to answer to the best of my knowledge. I have very few personal boundaries on discussion and happy to field education stuff.
@mxsiege Thank you! I have a friend who came out as trans a few years ago and she helped me out with a lot of the basics, but there’s always room to improve.
@mxsiege this is so important
there's a reason we cut ourselves off from cis people. The problem is that most cis communities have no way to learn how to treat people... and that goes beyond ignorance. We see a lot of welcoming ignorance in our extended natal family. We also don't feel included and don't want to fight on a wedding weekend 😛
😉👍 We got your back, fam.
@mxsiege AND THAT'S WHY MASTO IS SO GOOD!
@mxsiege So much this!
@mxsiege it feels so weird to be in a place where people are just universally supportive of each other
almost makes me wish i didn't have to still live in the real world and just move to mastodon full time
@mxsiege this is great and i love this and i want society to become more like this
@mxsiege It's strange to be in a space, especially online where... I'm just accepted. No weird questions, no attacks, no "2 genders" rhetoric, just... kindness and acceptance... its so nice
@mxsiege I'm really glad that I can contribute to normalizing and supporting a lot of things that are traditionally undermied by people as privileged as myself.
It's nice (and somehow quite strange) to get praise for putting my pronouns in my description.
It was a very small one-time (non-)effort.
( Wondering what other very small efforts I'm missing, that would makes others feel more welcome? )