miramarco @miramarco@octodon.social

"I think the term "depression" isn't very good. It implies sadness. Depression isn't sadness. It's psychological pain. It's the inability to feel positive about things. People who are suicidal don't want to die; they want to stop hurting. They can't conceive of any way to ever not hurt again other than no longer living.

Yelling at them for being selfish only aggravates the situation. It makes it that much harder to get people the help they need."

To all those (white) men complaining lately that it's so sad and unfair that people assume you're an asshole because of who you are: your (white) brothers ruined it for you.
Stop whining at those who treat you in a certain way due to their own personal past experiences and #checkyourboys.

If you're wondering why marginalized people on social media seem constantly exasperated with the folks in their mentions, remember this:

At a town hall meeting, it's obvious when one person is hogging the one mic, interrupting the current speaker, and generally being a nuisance. It's also possible to peer pressure them into shutting up or not returning.

On social media, one person can waste the time and energy of dozens of people at scale, in private, while maintaining a polite facade.

A lot of POC left Masto over a year ago because (mostly white) people on here confused strong speech with aggressive speech, and drove them off.

What driving away POC signals for me is that I'm not welcome. Not only does it decrease the size (and relative safety) of my network on here, it also increases the likelihood I'm going to have to listen to white tech dudes all the time, no matter how much filtering I do. Which is upsetting, tbh.

suicidal people deserve to feel free to speak openly about their suicidal thoughts to friends, therapists, etc without fearing institutionalizations or other drastic measures. allowing people to speak about suicide isn't the same as saying it's ok. imo it actually makes it more likely for people to get help instead of bottling it up.

"If a person can’t get out of bed, something is making them exhausted. If a student isn’t writing papers, there’s some aspect of the assignment that they can’t do without help. If an employee misses deadlines constantly, something is making [it] difficult. Even if a person is actively choosing to self-sabotage, there’s a reason for it — some fear they’re working through, some need not being met, a lack of self-esteem being expressed."

https://medium.com/@dr_eprice/laziness-does-not-exist-3af27e312d01

here is a good guide on how to be descriptive/set up your caption

it's rather long, and very detailed, but know that even just a basic description will suffice:

http://livingwithdisability.tumblr.com/post/124066767358/all-about-image-descriptions

#accessibility

« What Do We Mean When We Say “Toxic Masculinity?” »
by Luke Humphris (2017)

https://thenib.com/toxic-masculinity

Also, this kinda came up, but not everyone using Masto/masto-like sites are tech savvy. Telling me to build my own instance or do _______ as someone who barely understand what it means and entails isn't useful.

Masto discourse is not accessible and some of yall are just hostile and annoying and condescending for no reason whatsoever.

You can be marginalized and still have white privilege. Always remember that. Acknowledging it does not negate your marginalizations.

I have found it much easier to teach decent people how to do things than to try to get shitty people who know how to do things to be decent.

I have a request for cismen in #checkyourboys: please make an active effort if you are able to to check your mans on the idea that feminism is about 1. Oppressing men 2. Benefits women only

So today in a meeting I watched my colleague, a quiet lawyer, graciously refuse food that was passed round the table. Each latecomer had another go at offering the plate of cake to him. All the thoughts were kind.

I saw in that moment, and in his grace, what it means to him to fast, to be the solitary Muslim in our not-Muslim workplace, to have no one ever remember what time of year it is, to not remember who he is.

I think we can do better.

#smallstories

Hey, here's a thought.

Developers may have a vested (so to speak) stake in the code they write and maintain, but the people who use a social media service, *we're* the ones that have a stake in -- and effectively, own -- the community built on that code.

*ALL* the people who are building that community own it. Not the people who are closest to the developers, not the people who most closely resemble the developers, everybody.

Consider the implications of this.

Thanks.

real talk: are there standard meanings for the different emoji heart colors ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 or do people just use whichever they feel like?

ugh, just saw another (paraphrased) "it's impossible to -give- offense, offense is taken, therefore it's not my fault if you're offended, therefore I can be a dick to you if I want to be" dude.

can we just...stop