def max the uɐɯxɐɟ ✅ @max@octodon.social

what does the police car say
weeeEEEE wooooOOoo
weeEEE woooOOoo
WEE WOO MOTHERFUCKER
MAX DOESN'T GET TO SLEEP

I competed in a beer olympics this weekend
my team got second place all is okay
we all have all of our toe(s) and that's the most important thing

oh wow i have been asked to form a coalition government with corbyn this is quite unexpected I of course accept

Adding "iPads" to "Max's List of Things That Don't Exist". The list is now

1. Idaho
2. a perfect sized bag of hamburger buns
3. iPads

the movies about the future have lied
I have not been referred to as "Citizen" once yet

political correctness is preventing us from answering the important questions like why large frying pans are always able to fit four quarter pound beef patties I mean there's got to be a reason right is there a standard for this or something

yo but whoever out there skinning cats and penning idioms gonna catch these hands
that's animal cruelty son

Unlike cats, there is only one way
to skin a fish:
the right way

@aemarc no it is all good in the hood now I fell in a pool several times

@aemarc i have started on fire multiple times but other than that good

whoooaa there's a Birdsite-like frontend for mastodon now
this is eery
this is like tweeting on a hollywood birbsite set

i am zooming in a Train
Like a VIP
where is the caviar

i am the covfefe u wish 2 see in th world
good #covfefe
good #content

i wrote about a new concurrency primitive for ember

https://medium.com/@maxfierke/a-new-concurrency-primitive-39eab08c2494

@tcql I thought a man who calls himself catdad had at least done mushrooms once

@tcql wow catdad you are a natural

i'm looking to hire a part-time
dingus whisperer

job duties:
* txt me 'ur a dingus' at least 7 times a day to keep me humbl

no benefits other than getting to call me a dingus

I wrote a very beautiful heartfelt piece about my love for coffee
https://medium.com/@maxfierke/coffee-is-the-reason-s-609f3c94a5d7?source=linkShare-fffa7d56d312-1495900348