Biggie did not kick in the door or wave the 44 for this shit

I am an Internet Man with important Internet things to do. Watch me Internet.

breaking news 

It's 2017 and scientists still don't have an answer for why i can't hold all these limes 🍋

Ahhh it is swamplike yet again in Minnesota
perfect for my scaley exterior(s)

I am able to report that it is currently hot as balls outside as they say in the meteorology bizzness

what does the police car say
weeeEEEE wooooOOoo
weeEEE woooOOoo

I competed in a beer olympics this weekend
my team got second place all is okay
we all have all of our toe(s) and that's the most important thing

oh wow i have been asked to form a coalition government with corbyn this is quite unexpected I of course accept

Adding "iPads" to "Max's List of Things That Don't Exist". The list is now

1. Idaho
2. a perfect sized bag of hamburger buns
3. iPads

the piss tape is real

the piss tape is real

Շɦﻉ ρٱรร Շคρﻉ ٱร ɼﻉคɭ

the movies about the future have lied
I have not been referred to as "Citizen" once yet

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