Biggie did not kick in the door or wave the 44 for this shit

I am an Internet Man with important Internet things to do. Watch me Internet.

breaking news 

It's 2017 and scientists still don't have an answer for why i can't hold all these limes 🍋

Ahhh it is swamplike yet again in Minnesota
perfect for my scaley exterior(s)

I am able to report that it is currently hot as balls outside as they say in the meteorology bizzness

what does the police car say
weeeEEEE wooooOOoo
weeEEE woooOOoo

I competed in a beer olympics this weekend
my team got second place all is okay
we all have all of our toe(s) and that's the most important thing

oh wow i have been asked to form a coalition government with corbyn this is quite unexpected I of course accept

Adding "iPads" to "Max's List of Things That Don't Exist". The list is now

1. Idaho
2. a perfect sized bag of hamburger buns
3. iPads

the piss tape is real

the piss tape is real

Շɦﻉ ρٱรร Շคρﻉ ٱร ɼﻉคɭ

the movies about the future have lied
I have not been referred to as "Citizen" once yet

political correctness is preventing us from answering the important questions like why large frying pans are always able to fit four quarter pound beef patties I mean there's got to be a reason right is there a standard for this or something

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