Lorax @lorax@octodon.social

How is it I still can lose whole days without awareness. I can write the date in a book, run away and come back to write a date some five days later... without a sense of the interlude.

I got stuck halfway through the new season of The Crown. Too unbelievable. I want my dramatic reenactments of modern history to stick to the scripts and stop embellishing. I have been pacing the watching of white colonizers between episodes of How to Get Away With Murder, because regicide seems to follow well as a chaser, and The Mindy Project, because belly laughing massages your organs, & that's a quote by Tiffany Haddish to Trevor Noah, whose Daily is another balm I sometimes indulge.

What are your earliest memories? Why do they persist? What are the first normal or boring details you can still remember now about your early self?

Drifting off into a nap, trying to comprehend, why the turning point for this moment of mainstream "believing women" began, with Weinstein, finally, and only this year? In my fugue consciousness, recalled how it took actors, who we routinely witness playing parts, in stories ... how it took us hearing from these specific artists, in their own voices, no longer play-acting-- for the culture shift of "believing women" to begin to hook its first big fish? Thankful art teaches us how to be human.

there is no future
there is no past

there's just moment by moment until it's the last

I can't wait for my province to detach from the mainland and become an island thanks to rising sea levels.

I am following the news of the crumbling US empire with some morbid interest, but the sinking doubt that is reinforced in my mind throughout has been: what next? If the impeachment that appears imminent comes to pass, under what conditions are new elections to occur? The lie at the heart of the democracy seems quite bare.

Am curious: where did you learn ethics? What conditioning did you choose, and which was imposed?

I have a bracelet on my wrist that reads "Start by believing" -- it is counterintuitive, at first. How can one's starting point be belief? But inhabiting the contradiction, the power of belief is this: faith can beget reality.

I have had artificially-injected hormones in my body system for a few days now, and it is different, but I am the same. I just feel a little bit less tired than usual, I notice time moving a bit quicker. But it has not modified anything to such a degree as I would describe myself as any different. What is new is I can feel easier about the future, and more game to sticking around for it.

Language traps me. Words capture meaning in inexact measure. Binary thinking forces fake equivalencies. Character-driven drama forges intention & sense of purpose.

I just shot-up with a new substance, the effect of which is, so far, slight flashbacks to older drug experiences with a totally other substances, very different. Déjà viewed through my reflections, quite pleasant in small enough measure.

any good twitch stand up comedy or PS Live?

Associative regression a.k.a. "revertigo", or the tendency of a person to revert back to an older version of themselves when surrounded by persons from their past (How I Met Your Mother canon). In software terms, revertigo could require a full uninstall and re-compile of signed packages; in the human mind, associative regression is often possible with minimal effort or even awareness from the host. #dictionaryofnewterms

I have been thinking about the german word "sippenhaft" and the idea that a family can share the moral responsibility for the crime or act committed by one member. The word was told to me by a German journalist, in the context of regretting having helped to write a recent piece of feature journalism used to exonerate an accused rapist. In the court of public opinion, journalists are lawyers and sippenhaft begets media criticism.

has anyone ever tried dialectical behavioural therapy?

Do you want an end-of-year card from me? But why.