That feel when asking someone what ought to be an otherwise straightforward question ~isn't~ due to heaps of unspoken cultural assumptions that poison the well.
So, before you can even pose the question you have to unpack all this ~bullshit~ from society at large.
And the cognitive load/effort to do so is just... too draining... so you just... ~don't~.
Of course, one could pose the question and hope for the best. Deal with any misunderstandings a they come. Perhaps you'll get lucky. And you'll avoid looking like a dweeb. 🤷 ┐( ´ д ` )┌
Octodon is a nice general purpose instance. more