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That feel when asking someone what ought to be an otherwise straightforward question ~isn't~ due to heaps of unspoken cultural assumptions that poison the well.
So, before you can even pose the question you have to unpack all this ~bullshit~ from society at large.
And the cognitive load/effort to do so is just... too draining... so you just... ~don't~.
Of course, one could pose the question and hope for the best. Deal with any misunderstandings a they come. Perhaps you'll get lucky. And you'll avoid looking like a dweeb.
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