Lily @lily@octodon.social

i'm trying to talk to more people but everytime i do i always feel super awkward and i just wanna scream aaaaaaah

me: i should start working on art again

*opens krita and fails to draw a circle*

oh, i guess not

RT @DrewGamblord@twitter.com: i can explain
🐦🔗: https://twitter.com/DrewGamblord/status/991936181414772736

RT @YakuzaNoContext@twitter.com:
https://twitter.com/YakuzaNoContext/status/991454148347486208

i like the automatically scrolling timelines in mastodon but have y'all seen how many times i've clicked the wrong toot because it auto scrolled?

everytime i see good animation i always want to learn how to animate and one of these days i'm going to get up and do it already

RT @juanpearroyo@twitter.com: @e1n@twitter.com In this basic take i have done you can see the chart is very close, we try to get more with less, avoiding the middle passing position, keeping the cushion poses pretty close and adding a very simple follow through in arms and tail, to compensate the snappyness of the gesture. :)
https://twitter.com/juanpearroyo/status/990647528625459201

aaah i want to shave my beard so much but i can't shave too much or my face gets all kinds of messed up from the razor. it's only been a day whY IS IT SO PRICKLY I HATE THIS

now i'm just feeling gender dysphoria again and it's awful that i can't even think about anything dealing with life without realizing i'm physically a male and crying about it for an hour

part of it i guess is probably because i grew up as the wrong gender. i mean, i hated most everything about being a boy growing up, and i still do. if i could like go back and experience childhood as the gender i want to be and feel i am truly, that'd make me way happier even if i still have a male body and have to transition when i'm an adult

i want to have children, whether my own or adopted. but honestly, i never wanted to grow up, i want to go back. that's something that i can't do, sadly. so i guess that's why i want children, so i can experience childhood again, even if it's through the eyes of a parent, an outsider, i'm not the kid here. idk. people tell me to still be a kid on the inside but it's not that same whimsical feeling.

aw that's a shame the crossposter doesn't crosspost video, but i mean that's understandable

lol i had a little trouble there at the end https://t.co/wchnGFxbMO

part of me is like "oh i should set up a locked account where i talk about my innermost private feelings" but tbh i'd post my innermost private feelings on the public timelines so there'd be no point lol

160* actually. still tho

who thought it was a good idea to make the default mastodon bio length to 150 when actual toots themselves are 500