Lily @lily@octodon.social

aah i am sooooooo in love

don't mind me just had the most soul-crushing defeat of rainmaker ever. we had 8 left with the other team still at 99, and they went all the way during overtime. lost my rank due to that. great

somehow i lived... https://t.co/slEahxb2MY

i'm trying to talk to more people but everytime i do i always feel super awkward and i just wanna scream aaaaaaah

@onf idk i always thought that gems could just change their physical form to include an entire reproductive system but that doesn't really explain why rose had to turn into steven to have him. idk it's not explained well and i'm bad at theories anyway

@chao honestly i had the same exact problem when i was that old. i don't think i actually figured out how i move my eyes until i was like 7 or 8

me: i should start working on art again

*opens krita and fails to draw a circle*

oh, i guess not

RT @DrewGamblord@twitter.com: i can explain
🐦🔗: https://twitter.com/DrewGamblord/status/991936181414772736

RT @YakuzaNoContext@twitter.com:
https://twitter.com/YakuzaNoContext/status/991454148347486208

i like the automatically scrolling timelines in mastodon but have y'all seen how many times i've clicked the wrong toot because it auto scrolled?

everytime i see good animation i always want to learn how to animate and one of these days i'm going to get up and do it already

RT @juanpearroyo@twitter.com: @e1n@twitter.com In this basic take i have done you can see the chart is very close, we try to get more with less, avoiding the middle passing position, keeping the cushion poses pretty close and adding a very simple follow through in arms and tail, to compensate the snappyness of the gesture. :)
https://twitter.com/juanpearroyo/status/990647528625459201

aaah i want to shave my beard so much but i can't shave too much or my face gets all kinds of messed up from the razor. it's only been a day whY IS IT SO PRICKLY I HATE THIS

now i'm just feeling gender dysphoria again and it's awful that i can't even think about anything dealing with life without realizing i'm physically a male and crying about it for an hour

part of it i guess is probably because i grew up as the wrong gender. i mean, i hated most everything about being a boy growing up, and i still do. if i could like go back and experience childhood as the gender i want to be and feel i am truly, that'd make me way happier even if i still have a male body and have to transition when i'm an adult

i want to have children, whether my own or adopted. but honestly, i never wanted to grow up, i want to go back. that's something that i can't do, sadly. so i guess that's why i want children, so i can experience childhood again, even if it's through the eyes of a parent, an outsider, i'm not the kid here. idk. people tell me to still be a kid on the inside but it's not that same whimsical feeling.