So could I just go "Hey I'm a weird gay enby pagan furry, ask me anything" and people would, and it would not be terrible?

Let's try it out!

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Results (so far): Lots of favs, only two actual questions, zero shittiness. Pretty decent! Thanks for being awesome, mastodoners! :purple_heart:

@RebelMoogle enby -> NB -> Non-binary (gender) -> Not male or female, sorta 'none of the above' in my case.

@RebelMoogle It's clearer when spoken than written, but I like the look of it. Been using that in preference to 'trans' (even though I'm arguably both) because lots of what people think they know about the latter doesn't apply to me so much. :)

@latrani I see. I always wondered if I was nb myself, but I don't really have much of a frame of reference. I didn't even know what gender identity and expression was until a few years ago.

I definitely know my identity is not traditionally female or male, but everything else seems to be.

Need to make more lgbtq friends when I get to Seattle. ^^

@RebelMoogle Yeah there's a whole spectrum of non-binary experience, from "I have some philosophical concerns" to "I super-duper need to do a lot of physical transition, but not to 'the opposite'"

I think it's a good thing for everyone to question and explore, and it seems like there's more and more people doing so, which is really cool.

And yeah, Seattle seems to be a good place for it. ;)

@Siphonay This literally changes like week-to-week? Currently I'm way into Poké (raw fish in sauce in a sort of a salad bowl thing), along with like, the rest of the west coast of the US it seems.

@latrani Problem with setting it up like that is it tends to set up for creepy questions.

And if you're after creepy questions, yay, but if you're not then boo.

But I'll try non-creepy: what pagan tradition?


Sure! I am currently used to the word "pagan" meaning "not Christian." What does it mean for you?

@latrani given that you're enby, does that mean the descriptor 'gay' refers to your sex rather than gender?

@Gargoylezoo Nope! (Even if it did, I've done enough transition that assigning me a 'biological sex' is a murky proposition at best. ;))

It's just self-identification term that feels right to me. The best I can explain it is I see/use 'gay' as a sort of cultural signifier, referring to how I conceive of and relate with my sexuality.

@Gargoylezoo (2/2) It's also meant to have a 'soft' gender implication, but that's not terribly clear since English doesn't have an unambiguous word for gay-as-in-male. I know several folks who call themselves non-binary lesbian, which is a bit clearer since we DO have a word for gay-as-in-female.

The other thing that label does is it allows me to get into this sort of conversation/explanation, which I admit I do rather enjoy. :) Sorry for the walls of text. ;)

@latrani Interesting! It's too bad we don't have better language for things in the middle of the various spectra, especially how they relate to one another.

@Gargoylezoo I know, right? The whole gender-stuff world is a fascinating ferment of terminologies at this point, I'd love to see what comes out of it in a few years.

All this being said, the 'gay' label also just works pretty well on a practical level for me. My presentation generally reads as 'femmy/soft male' these days, and I usually seek the same, so... ;)

@latrani Ok, so you're using 'gay' to sort of mean 'I'm interested in people in the same part of the gender spectrum'?

@Gargoylezoo It works out that way, but the original intention was really still more "I identify with m/m culture even if I'm not male". But yeah, if it didn't have that sort of practical accuracy, I probably would not be using that term. :)

@latrani Most people are initially attracted to others by the secondary sexual characteristics of the binary gender they prefer. Since you are (generally) attracted to non-binary folks, are there any physical characteristics that you key on when you find yourself attracted to someone? (just asking out of curiosity, don't answer if you're not comfortable with it.)

@Gargoylezoo This is actually a pretty complicated question, largely because I don't key off of physical appearance that hard to begin with. And then also to the extent that I do it's admittedly still somewhat male-skewing too (hence gay-as-in-male, as previously mentioned), though preferably the non-traditional, 'queer' sort of such.

@Gargoylezoo There ARE physical descriptors that suggest non-binariness though; there's this joke about the 'enby uniform' that usually involves dyed hair, an undercut, and soft-punk clothing, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that look catches my attention. That though it's definitely a cultural signifier, and it does feel like a different SORT of attention compared to the (fairly rare) times when I find myself going 'that guy is cute.'

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