@Averly I'm still waiting.

Diagnosed BP a few years ago, so at least I know where it's coming from. That helps a little bit.

Have you been checked for that?

@juno I was, many years ago although, now they know longer think that’s true. Sometimes I think it’s due to loneliness but even around other people I still feel the same. Like, isolated and never quite being accepted. So it’s hard for me to make new IRL friends. My anxiety definitely doesn’t help. And I often just wanna give up, yet I’m still here for whatever reason. Such a frustrating cycle that keeps haunting me and I wish I could just fix it 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Averly Wow, couldn't have said it better myself. Lonely when I'm alone, and when I'm around others I can't wait to be by myself. A vicious, self-feeding cycle, like you said.

The past few years, I've fallen into my imagination for company. Writing, art, places I can be on my own terms. Before that, it was a balancing act between living without fear, or finding a way to just get out. A scary place to be, as you know. Creativity gives me something bigger than myself and my problems.