I invite you to dig into the list of awards categories here if you want to spend the rest of the afternoon re-enacting the Captain Picard facepalm scene noonies.tech/

Imagine being this proud of how complicated you were able to make a voting webpage

Also everytime I see "Vercel" my brain thinks "volcel," great branding there team

I can't stop laughing. Someone thought this was really profound

One of the nominees for this category is Fujifilm's Instax, a line of film-based instant cameras that are functionally indistinguishable from the Polaroid I got for my birthday in 1986

12 nominees so far for this category, whose description announces the utter contempt the organizers have for all of them

I would like to thank Hackernoon for providing us with this, the El Dorado of Content

Wading through this hip-deep word sludge like it's 18 hours after Hurricane Katrina

Glad to see them giving recognition to the unknown little people out there

Loving this description, written like someone is trying to convince a clinically depressed keyboard that

We should all be very excited about these innovations. Sometimes, though, we need someone to explain why

I like how the description for this category preemptively admits that every single person on it is evil

We're in a worldwide pandemic?!? How am I only just now finding out about this

(Bonus points for endorsing the Joe Rogan "do your own research" category of stupid, and somehow managing to get a character encoding glitch on a website made in 2022)

The Staff Philosopher strikes again

(p.s. not all founders are "he/his", jfc how are we still having to explain this)

An entire category just for people who posted stories about Elon Musk. WITH TWELVE NOMINEES!!!

The VERY FIRST HIT I get when I search for this quote is a Quote Investigator page explaining that Einstein didn't say it quoteinvestigator.com/2017/03/

All right everyone, who told the Staff Philosopher where we hid the cocaine

Once again, the VERY FIRST HIT I get when I search for this quote is a Quote Investigator page explaining that Twain didn't say it quoteinvestigator.com/2014/01/

(Bonus points for yet more encoding errors, did someone forget to tell Microsoft Word to turn off smart quotes)

If you have ever posted even a single thing on HackerNoon you are getting an award

It will shock absolutely no one to learn that Elon Musk has been nominated for the coveted "Insert Rick and Morty Reference Here Award"

"So that's the compromise: we have this category, but it gets a name that makes it clear we kept the damn FEMINISTS out"

Now we've moved on to descriptions that are just dripping with disdain for the nominees

Follow

Guess we can chalk up Unicode as one more thing Scott Adams doesn't believe in

· · Web · 1 · 4 · 5

brb, gotta go set up a Hackernoon account so I can nominate Razzlekhan

Always good to write a category description so it reads like a threat

There's a special category just for "people who tried and failed to talk some sense into us"

At first I thought this was a typo, but no, it's more awkwardly branded crypto bullshit buidler.network/

Oh god, I can't do it anymore. I can't take it. The Web3 category finally defeated me. (Plus every time I tab back over to the site all my fans spin up like a 747 getting ready to take off.)

I leave the remainder of the categories -- there are SO MANY -- to you.

noonies.tech/

@rysiek I like to think someone over there is following my thread and cleaning up behind me

@jalefkowit nono no, see, these are people that care about decentralization! You will never find them on *fedi*!

@jalefkowit my first ever impression of hackernoon, years ago, was 'oh great. they made medium for edgy techbros' and im glad it was perfectly on point

@jalefkowit this thread is good and you should feel good.

Maybe there's an Noonie award in it for you?

@jalefkowit Well, they do have plenty of typos! I don't blame you...

@alcinnz I do not envy anyone whose job requires them to say "Buidler" out loud

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Octodon

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!