Your parents and teachers lied to you, OK? Canada doesn't exist. It's a story they tell to frighten children with nightmares of hockey and free health care

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@jalefkowit That at least means I'm getting paid, right?

... right?

@craigmaloney @jalefkowit The Michigan-Alaska border is beautiful this time of year.

@jalefkowit And we’re all armed with freshly sharpened skate blades if anyone comes for our maple syrup. They can take the Canada Geese though, they’re assholes. :)

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