@tipsytentacle personally, i didn't really cross dress before transition, but was always jealous of trans women. A part of me thought I didn't "get" to transition because I wasn't really trans. I hate to say, I think emotional intelligence from novel reading did more to help me realize I was trans than what I wore pre-transition. That's how I realized I was dissociating and detached from my feelings and body.

tl;dr: murakami made me a girl with his silly books about walls