Well, that rabbit hole led to a collapsed tunnel with a sign that said "sorry I guess": the Galaxy S7 Edge Qualcomm Snapdragon 820 version has a locked bootloader that is unlikely to be broken. In essence, I can root my phone thanks to the awesome hackers who risked their devices to bring root access to everyone, but I can't install a custom ROM even if I am rooted. There are also reports of poor performance and higher than normal heat generation. Sad, but I might just try Nova launcher instead.