.@swervestray reform is an appropriate course for a user. But reforming assholes should not be in positions of power. Speaking as a reforming asshole.
Perhaps one day after full reform has been demonstrated to the community, it would be appropriate for Milan to take a position of power again, with supervision.
Federating with Milan's server means granting a position of power within the federation of nice instances, to one who is not worthy.
This is not really about Milan.