I was always non-binary but it felt like being a femboy would be at extreme risk to my own personal safety due to the violent environment of English council estates
I told my parents I was a woman because I wanted them to take me seriously
I met some trans women who hated men (sometimes for understandable reasons), and it made me distant from that aspect of my identity
I feel safe now
But my "professional" worksona is that of a butch lesbian because I did the whole legal change of identity thing. My birth name sucks, I got made fun of a lot for it because I shared it with a notable porn star
I think I'm happy being a woman for professional reasons.
Just some thoughts on gender following on from kookie's since me and him are in fairly similar places, both previously being basically trans women, and then retreating from that identity without losing our trans identity.