as the only cishet man on this entire website, i am in sole possession of the most fucked at and reviled dick in all of fedi. i am spat and thrown rocks at whenever i log on, on account of my dick sucking shit and being uniformly awful

despite frequent claims to the contrary, i actually don't mind people disagreeing with me. they can't help being wrong, and performatively outraged at my uniformly correct opinions, because they are uneducated troglodytes

your posts: loud, boorish, tasteless

my posts: considered, subtly incisive, humorous without being grotesque

i like my women how i like my cheese 

cheap and mostly tasteless

i would like to thank my followers, for being beady-eyed little freaks, and uniformly awful

i have all my biggest simps muted. for being uniformly awful, and without taste

i think if i was a youtuber, i would simply say things that are correct, and good, instead of things that are wrong, and racist. seems easy

ufc commentator said “this should be a good one with a couple of Big Boys”

everyone on this website is constantly telling me they want to kiss me, and hold me, and marry me, and be happy forever,. disgusting

if i ever get cancelled, it'll be because i set up a gofundme for surgery or whatever but actually spend the money on this

im the silver surfer of surfboarding through space

Tomorrow is April 18th... You know what that means. Goblins and ghouls lurking around the tombstones. A skeleton in every closet. Are these disguises scary enough? Perhaps the masks are our real faces. Party city. It’s all hallows eve

(me. as an ascendancy) oh noo~~ please don't step on me with the largest feet in the galaxy queen haha 😳

i wanted the eggplant emoji and started typing ':pito:' smh

I have now vassalised half the galaxy and have the largest :thanos: 🍆. I could take down an ascendancy if I wanted too. I've got to the 4th tier of menace too but considering I need double what j have I might not get it.

I have now vassalised half the Super Mario galaxy 2 and have the largest feet. I could take down an ascendancy if I wanted too. I've got to the 4th tier of menace too but considering I need double what j have I might not get it.

java was invented to punish man for the original sin

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