there's no equilibrium state between queerness and cishetness. there's no set of 'real' genders or sexualities that could exist as stable counterpoints to the normative, heterosexual binary. queerness is a state of difference from the norm, and the norm exists thru and for the repression of everyone who falls outside it
i don't just mean medicalists and gatekeepers, but also the culture of validity and the constant relitigation of identities. you can't reason yourself into a peace treaty with systematic oppression, and the idea you should try is just your internal cop speaking. there's this wish for normalcy i see lot of queer people (i think especially white ones, but that's another topic) express and like, the normal exists to put you in pain. you can't assimilate into it, not w/o becoming your own torturer
you're not the source of your own suffering — there's no set of internal switches to flip that can make it go away. it's the machinery of repression around you that causes it; and if you can carve yourself a space where you can feel comfortable with who you are even if only some of the time, that's good, but outside that temporary non-heteronormative zone it's demiurge rules: the world exists for your pain
and this isn't just about gender or sexuality, it's also about class, race, and abledness. they're all intertwined, both historically and currently. it's possible for white, middle class queers to buy themselves into a position where they're not at least called slurs to their face, but that's fragile and it's complicity. you fundamentally can't address queerness without also addressing all the other things. the struggle is not isolated: we're all liberated, or none of us are
identity is a weapon. make sure it's aimed at the enemy
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