senate intelligence committee: on september 17, 2019 you made a 'post' saying, and i quote, 'jobless after the cum factory exploded, and on top of that, the massive flood of pyroclasmic bull semen destroyed the garbage can i'd been sleeping in'

me: (clearing throat) i don't recollect that

@esvrld On January 23, 2020, you also made a post claiming to be "Taking up artisanal guillotine crafting as a hobby"

"Ah, yes, I do remember that one"

"And what did you mean by that?"

"I would like to see guillotines come back into fashion."

I stare holes into the head of the committee.

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