i have been forcibly reminded the voyager plates basically constitute a mixtape, unsolicited nudes, and directions to where we live

can't believe this is my most faved and boosted post smh

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Aliens on first contact: So we heard you like unsolicited nudes

@Banquo @esvrld the year following, earth's scientists develop the most comprehensive xenobiological catalogue of extraterrestrial genitalia the galaxy has ever known, in part because the constant ddos prevented any other work from getting done

@esvrld humans rly out here with that interstellar "come thru" text

@esvrld Everything posted on the internet is forever

As it turns out, so is launching shit into space

@esvrld inb4 we find out that alien 4chan is much much worse

@esvrld And all of it put together by a committee chaired by the most thoroughgoing stoner of 20th-century science.

@esvrld All that's missing is a passionate plea for response

@esvrld I think you're mistaken.

iirc, They removed the nudes from the Voyager golden records after they got complaints about the nudes on the Pioneer plaque.

@esvrld Put that way... first contact situation might be a rather stern lecture from an intergalactic judge?


The good news is, if aliens ever show up looking for some action, there will be *thousands* of people lining up to fuck one.

@esvrld well at least this way when humans want to get it on with the aliens they won't be surprised.

@esvrld And it didn't come with a content warning.

@esvrld pretty useless directions though as it turns out the things we used as landmarks are actually far more common than we'd thought

so it's basically like if we said "just down the street from the gas station" without telling anyone which gas station or even which city

@esvrld should've included a winky face too so they know we're d2f
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