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introducing esvrldr, the esvrld premium membership program:

esvrldr basic tier ($5/mo): my posts, delivered to your device of choice. only now you pay for them

esvrldr silver tier ($10/mo): early access to my posts, up to 30 seconds before they're available to other audiences

i feel this is the kind of post that could do well on twitter

cancelling my eyes and ears for their constant insubordination

polynesia and polyamory were both discovered by the same person, connor poly

what's seinfeld's deal with airplane food, anyway

ravens, a type of shrew, as evidenced by their long nose? a goth shrew, as evidenced by their colouration? many are saying this

sitting in lotus pose in a darkened room, carefully visualising a cat in perfect 3d to better appreciate it

have pity on the fossbros... when their dick doesn't work, they have to go to the forums to ask for help, with the result one replier asks for a pic but never follows up on it, another describes a cure for athlete's foot, a third one tells about getting their own dick to work but never describes how, and then a moderator locks the thread down as answered

goth shrew boosted

im beginning to think that doing all of that murder while poirot happened to be visiting my village was a bad idea

no, see, you come to a standup show, you expect something funny. instead it's just me, crying loudly. that's subversion of expectations right there. the core of humour. maybe you just don't get jokes, have you considered that

goth shrew boosted

When Jodocus Hondius made his constellation maps in 1618 he had Chamaeleon sticking its tongue out to catch the neighboring constellation of Musca (the fly) and everyone was like "He's catching the fly! That's awesome how do you think of this stuff."

acetodon and you're not allowed to get horny on there

me: computer, show me a news article

computer: WE USE COOKIES TO IMPROVE YOUR EXPERIENCE. YOU HAVE 3 FREE ARTICLES REMAINING THIS MONTH. NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE, WE HAVE A SMALL FAVOUR TO ASK

i love being 'on here'. i love being 'extremely online'. it's good to me actually

someone, somewhere, is always having a normal one

sci-hub is down looks like i'm not getting thru that backlog of 20+ papers tonight haha

doing some heavy generalisations over here... like 'all men are italians'

focusing intently to concentrate qì into my skull, flawlessly deflecting the government's mind control rays back at their antennae, causing a feedback loop that blows up every cellphone tower within 100s of kms, everyone loses service,

goth shrew boosted
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Octodon

Octodon is a nice general purpose instance. more