goatmoth the balrog @esvrld@octodon.social

now that no one can see my tweets: im probably gonna jo to the piss tape

@EstradiolWarrior legend has it if you gather seven fully charged jo crystals from seven different people & bring them together during a conjunction of the planets, a divine dragon will appear and jack you off

@esvrld finally, a legend for the common man who just wants Porunga to give him head

stashing all my better thoughts in a crystal skull i bought on the darknet, for safekeeping

I'm currently encased in crystal. No, do not get me out. It'll be ok.

nothing is more valuable to me than my jo crystals. i would rather die than give them up

the infinity stones? you better believe those are jo crystals

the beatles had the original paul bury their jo crystal, then killed him so it could not be discovered

All my haters and imitators in one place

@esvrld y'know, he fuckin would but i don't wanna give him credit for it

responding to every mention of the number 96 with "damn shame"

Kind of impressed how little I know about Esvrld. I couldn’t even begin to guess something as broad as age range or time zone. But I think that adds to the mystique.

ok we know WHY white boys eat the coochie, but does anyone know HOW white boys eat the coochie?

dust-free cat litter: I pour it out, dust spews up like crazy

no-tears shampoo: I squeeze it directly into my eye and I'm blubbering like a baby

child-safe bottle: I hand it to my kid with a hammer and they're in, in like no time flat

advertising is bullshit

western culture is a fake idea but if there is one commonality it's that every time black artists invent a new musical form white artists and critics spend decades doing a moral panic about it

@esvrld how the hell do you find these posts lmao

theodore adorno would have been a jokes are fascism guy for sure

me in 2012: did God's command to kill Isaac constitute a teleological suspension of the ethical?

me in 2020: my expeditions as a baller