centipede cultist @esvrld@octodon.social

the last digit of pi is 3

hello, im straight person, here's one of the 5 jokes i have, please laugh

please dont tell me to come up with more jokes, ill shit myself and tell u that u being tired of my bad joke is the Real Joke now

I caught the CORVID. It really is nasty.

[points to an extremely angry crow that is trying to attack me]

the main thing to know about ethicists is they don't know trolleys have brakes

if someone killed me, i would simply transform into my second form, which is faster and has a more complex attack pattern

considering exploding into a vast swarm of hornets and centipedes and eating the tires off a police van

i gently pry open the gift horse's mouth; thousands of spiders, centipedes, moths pour out. 'wow! how did you know i wanted thousands of spiders, centipedes, and moths?'

will never cease to be funny to me when someone follows me over a post about politics or philosophy or technology or w/e, and then my next 20 posts will be like 'got banned from arby's for threatening to turn into a giant centipede and eat the manager, which is bullshit first off,'

every time i make a myriapod-related post, a huge alien centipede from venus deposits a perfect diamond in the basket i keep by my door

got banned from arby's for threatening to turn into a giant centipede and eat the manager, which is bullshit first off,

rearing a giant centipede on pig meat and chilopod growth hormone and letting it loose near a police station

ranking my followers on a five point scale based on their willingness to die for me & effectiveness in combat

every one must wear a free speech diaper to protest mastodon deleting posts that say "Fuck arch linux" and "Open source is some fake shit"

Mastodon is social media run by mr Rogers
Twitter is social media run by jimmy savile

stop saying the trolley problem isn’t real. i don’t get into my beautiful trolley and go run over one or five people every day just to be treated like this

Fucked up that the Lumière Bros. actually wanted that train to run over the audience

fetid bozo: peepee poopoo
me: both of those things are bad. i am clicking the x button on you

getting chased by giant beetles for saying anti-italian slurs at them. pc culture gone too far