goth shrew @esvrld@octodon.social

introducing esvrldr, the esvrld premium membership program:

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i feel this is the kind of post that could do well on twitter

cancelling my eyes and ears for their constant insubordination

polynesia and polyamory were both discovered by the same person, connor poly

what's seinfeld's deal with airplane food, anyway

ravens, a type of shrew, as evidenced by their long nose? a goth shrew, as evidenced by their colouration? many are saying this

sitting in lotus pose in a darkened room, carefully visualising a cat in perfect 3d to better appreciate it

have pity on the fossbros... when their dick doesn't work, they have to go to the forums to ask for help, with the result one replier asks for a pic but never follows up on it, another describes a cure for athlete's foot, a third one tells about getting their own dick to work but never describes how, and then a moderator locks the thread down as answered

im the goth shrew

no, see, you come to a standup show, you expect something funny. instead it's just me, crying loudly. that's subversion of expectations right there. the core of humour. maybe you just don't get jokes, have you considered that

acetodon and you're not allowed to get horny on there

me: computer, show me a news article

computer: WE USE COOKIES TO IMPROVE YOUR EXPERIENCE. YOU HAVE 3 FREE ARTICLES REMAINING THIS MONTH. NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE, WE HAVE A SMALL FAVOUR TO ASK

i love being 'on here'. i love being 'extremely online'. it's good to me actually

someone, somewhere, is always having a normal one

YEs i'm humblebragging,

sci-hub is down looks like i'm not getting thru that backlog of 20+ papers tonight haha

doing some heavy generalisations over here... like 'all men are italians'

focusing intently to concentrate qì into my skull, flawlessly deflecting the government's mind control rays back at their antennae, causing a feedback loop that blows up every cellphone tower within 100s of kms, everyone loses service,