eleventative bulletin @esvrld@octodon.social

HEY. My second cousin was called Guido by an Irishman in New Haven, Connecticut in 1991. You’re joking about a serious fucking issue that still persists to this day.

i consider horse fucker thicc a nemesis and a rival and i implore you to do the same

It is obnoxious how much of the "occult" and spiritual spaces are infested with the ideas, habits, and behaviors of Christians. People who make their whole lives about being anti-christian or just being pagan in general still shape their entire philosophies and ways of being around christian ideals so they are continuing to perpetuate the harm that they are claiming to be a solution for.

some heavy metals i like eating:
— lead
— mercury
— arsenic

you get some of these three in your food and drink and you're all set babey

new modern & accurate Bond movie where 007 arrives to receive new gadgets for a mission and nervously realizes Q has become a full blown terf when every device is just another pair of glasses to peer through clothes at peoples' junk.

woke man group

@a_rock @byttyrs NEW PATREON EXCLUSIVE ($30+ tier): The Nutcrusher (Secret Method For Instant Sigmahood!)

Dreamt I was going to the mountain town. As I perused the free paper in the funicular, I came across an article, credited to "Xtor", which I discerned based on similarities of form and content was really by @esvrld . The article was about Wrangler jeans, how much xe loved wearing and selling them, and how if you think about it Wrangler jeans are a metaphor for life itself. Xtor's author bio asserted that xe was quite a popular Twitter personality, naming several of xer well-known comedy bits.

Hey, my cat and beloved friend, Frenzy, is coming with me on my move back to my parents'. I took him to the vet, and to update his vaccinations it cost about $450, and he'll need a dental procedure because his teeth are infected.

I don't mean any hyperbole here that this old man cat is my world and my rock. I am paying for this, I can, but it's over half of my savings and will set me back pretty rough, especially with rent coming up soon.

I know there are more important things out there, but if you want to chip in, boost, or both, I will be so thankful, much like the other times I've asked. I can't stress how useful and relieved I've been when friends and strangers help out, and I hope to goodness I can crawl my way to a place where I can return the favor and then some. Thanks again.

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/whiskwallet

https://account.venmo.com/u/whiskwallet

i am the master of my DICK… i am the captain of my BALLS

My new boss comes in and barks and order at me. I reach for my desk drawer and pull out a tailor's tape, which I wrap snugly around his posterior, noting the buttocks measurement disapprovingly; I sigh and sit down.

"No, I cannot take orders from you," I say, returning to caring for my neopet.

looking for some Fucked adult animated sitcoms to consume on my device

what tendency is 'sitcom'

The New Paddington Bear Vapes And Has Pronouns. Here's Why It Matters

paddington produces the marmalade from an orifice