I'm a straight cis guy with a clearly masculine presentation. At a gathering where people are wearing nametags (and some attendees are showing preferred gender pronouns on their nametags), is it helpful, a useful action for me to take as an ally, for me to show my pronouns? Or is it condescending?
@emdeesee It helps normalize the practice, in my opinion.
@emdeesee I used to print a phrase in my zine: "Nothing should be assumed about anybody's sexuality, including yours."
It could be extended to "Nothing should be assumed about anybody's gender, including yours."
@emdeesee Yes, you should. We should normalize pronouns as a thing that is not assumed.
@emdeesee Do it! You're helping to normalize the presentation of pronouns which makes it easier for those who need to specify.
@emdeesee I like to see genders on people that pass, it helps denormalize an automatic-gendering reflex that can be unhelpful sometimes. But I'm one male person, would like to hear more opinions on this too.
@emdeesee I think the question is, are you assuming that people are going to assume you are cis male? I don't think showing your pronouns would be a bad thing if they are.
@emdeesee i too would like to know this.
The answer is, it's complicated.
I think that if cis, and binary trans people use pronoun labels, it does help normalize those labels so that when someone puts 'they' or another non-binary pronoun on a name badge or profile, it's more accepted.
However, when we ask people to do that, people who are not cis, who are not able to be out (family, work, gov't) are put in a position to either lie, or not participate.
@emdeesee I'd say go with it and help normalising. two don'ts to go with that - (1) don't draw attention the whole time in a "aren't i a good ally, give me a cookie" way - treat it as natural and normal (2) don't minimise the importance of pronouns ("whatever, i don't mind") it highlights a particular privilige and seems to poke fun at the idea some people need to be explicit...
I honestly feel like it might be better to show it than not, but I can't really speak for trans people (being barely questioning myself).
So I guess a 3/4 'yes' and a 1/4 'dunno, maybe not'? Signal boosting, a bit curious myself.
@emdeesee Normalizing pronoun sharing is helpful, from my perspective.
@emdeesee in my opinion it is a useful act of solidarity to help normalize the explicit statement of pronouns, even when using the ones you would typically be given implicitly.
@emdeesee Thanks for the questions and all the comments. Really interesting.
In Germany, a Hr. or a Fr. in front of the name is pretty common so i never have asked myself that question.
@emdeesee It helps to include your pronoun because it normalizes such behavior.
You can think of it as fostering "herd immunity."
@emdeesee yes, please! The more we get cis folks used to doing that, the easier it'll be for trans folks. I love when cis folks ask to do pronouns during a go around and introduce yourself thing. Also, no one should assume anyone's pronouns so it's helpful to reinforce that.
@emdeesee I'd say go ahead, as I'd rather see that accepted as a common practice than reserved to trans people